Thats the Good Stuff

That's the Good Stuff. The Golden Moments. The Sweet Spot. I feel like I'm here.. 

I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but something has been telling me to write this down, because the moments that we are living in right now are going to be the sweet spots that I look back on when trials start. 

I know some people may be saying, "HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS!  I hate the President! I love the President! The World is Crazy!".. and while yes, I can agree with some of those things, I also know that these are the precious moments that are going to get me through the hard seasons. This is what I will look back on and remember. This is when everything was good and everyone was together. I also know that we serve a God who has already seen how this all plays out, and tells us NOT to worry. 

Right now, we are all healthy. It only takes one phone call to change all that, but right now Jordan and I are healthy, the girls are healthy, and all four of my parents are healthy. I know that may not always be the case, so I want to remember how we are right now. My parents can come and watch Cross play softball, and Londyn sing, or play the piano, or the fiddle! We have awesome holidays all together..We are all able to show up for them, and when I think about how excited I was to see my grandma in the stands of my ballgames, I know how much it means to them. The grandparent relationships that my girls have are so special. I'm so happy that my parents have stepped up when other grandparents have chosen to Not be a part of their grandchildren's lives. I can't imagine making that choice, but so many do. Especially during these, the sweetest of times. 

They say time is a thief, and when I looked at Londyn up on that stage playing the fiddle in her orchestra group, I no longer saw my chubby-cheeked, square-headed baby with her porcelain skin. I saw a beautiful tween with long eyelashes, beautiful hair, and her daddy's lips. She's stunning. We are in for a world of hurt with that one, lol. But she's also so musically talented, and watching her take command of a stage has been wonderful. Last Weekend, watching Cross play as she stepped up to the plate, so confidently, so strong, doing what she loves. She was so serious.. her face so determined, and it reminded me of her building blocks when she was little, always wanting to build the tallest tower. Now her hair is past her waist, and her blue eyes shine through her facemask. They aren't my little babies anymore. 

Time is a thief.. When Jordan and I got married, we weren't sure we'd have kids at all. We had talked about it, and gave it to God, and God, with his sense of Humor, gave us twins. So perfectly different and amazing in their own ways. We can't imagine NOT having twins now, even though we still, TO THIS DAY, get PTSD if we hear small infants crying.. We honestly don't know how we got through that season... but now we both look at the girls and want them to go back to those two-year-old days, when Cross was obsessed with her 'Giant' and Londyn only wanted to say 'Oh Wow!' to every statement she made. Willie and Dolly for Halloween, and singing Trace Adkins.. They are such animated kids! They have always entertained us and made us laugh! We don't want more babies. We just want our babies over again. My girls never really had 'terrible two's'... they were always so entertaining. Yes, we had to discipline with love and logic for SURE, but they were having so much fun! 

We have so many pics and videos of them, and they were so much fun at that age. Not to say they aren't fun now, but now we see the end date in sight.. when they go off to college to chase their own dreams.

When your kids are born, all you can see is from one day to the next. You are surviving, not thriving! You are just trying to figure out how to manage your life alongside theirs, while also juggling your marriage, your job, and your commitments. Making your life theirs, moving your activities around so you can be theirs. I can't tell you how many people said to me, "The Years are short, but the days are long," and now, as the girls are 12, I feel like I see that every day. 

Time is a thief.. Now the girls are pretty independent. They set their alarm every day and get up on their own. They tackle their homework, and they are responsible little people. I feel like you spend your days parenting your kids so they can function without you, only to realize you don't like it when they do! 

Cross still Loves Softball. It has taken over most parts of her life with all her favorite things.. the UCO Bronchos.. Softball Camps.. Texas Therapy Dog visits, and even the LA Dodgers (because we have to support Freddie Freeman and Shohei Ohtani because they are lefties!) She is mature in many ways as a softball pitcher, but still gets her feelings hurt when she doesn't receive recognition for things she does well. She's still incredibly sensitive, and this is foreign to me. I don't handle a lot of feelings well, so I've been trying to remind myself that I'm not raising myself, I'm raising her, and she's a much better person now than I will ever be. She's kind.. She saves seats for people who don't have one. She's fiercely loyal, even to those who are not loyal to her. She finds the good in all people and continues to give them chance after chance, when I would have cut them out long ago. She loves every animal, and every person, big and small, even those that are NOT lovable. 

She loves Texas softball, which is certainly NOT popular in this state! However, she had the opportunity to spend time with the Texas softball girls during therapy visits over the past two years, and they would often spend a lot of time talking about softball with her. She will never forget that. She is quietly working on her confidence because Cross is a people-pleaser who wants everyone to be happy all the time, and to be happy with her, and as we all eventually find out, this is a never-ending battle. We are working on reminding her that her identity is in Jesus, and she does not need to compete in a world of pride and power. She should know that there will always be someone who has something mean to say. She has some awesome mentors, for which we are truly thankful, the main one being our favorite, Terin Ritz at UCO. She pushes Cross, but also picks her up, and no one cheers for her louder than T! 

Time is a thief.. Londyn is the complete opposite of Cross, but in a completely beautiful way. Londyn has gone her own way from birth. She is not consumed with what other people think or say.. She also chooses friends very carefully. She does not want to be around those who make poor choices, get into trouble, or put her in trouble. She has no issues walking away from people who stress her out. She is so musical. She loves singing solos at Church, being in Musical theatre, playing the piano... and now she is playing the fiddle/violin! She is passionate about music and absolutely loves being in the Orchestra at Deer Creek. She loves a good planner and likes to be ahead with her studies. She likes to earn good grades and always ensures her assignments are turned in on time. She is a forever 'blonde' and says some of the most hysterical things to us because she truly DOES NOT KNOW. She is particular about what she wears because she likes things to match. 

She loves her curly hair and has no problems showing it off! She is much quicker to throw a comeback or a smart remark. She is sass. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's not, lol.. She has no desire to be around babies, toddlers, or other kids. She wants NO PART of babysitting! lol. She loves performing, or as she says, "My turn to shine" in whatever musical element she is doing. She loves being on the stage and is full of confidence. Londyn has amazing role models in her life, including those in the Crossings choir (Shout out to Miss Debra and Miss Kim!), who consistently pour into her music and encourage her. She loves her Orchestra teacher, and she loves her Piano teacher! She loves all her 6th-grade teachers this year! 

My family is incredibly blessed, or as my mom says "We have God's Favor," and I truly believe that. I am married to the love of my life, who somehow can deal with all of us girls! I waited a long time to find Jordan, and we have been continually blessed since we got married. We have an amazing Church and church family. Crossings is one of the greatest blessings we have, thanks to all the pastors and good people. I have an amazing job that allows me the freedom to also be present with my girls, while still allowing me to play on the radio daily. Jordan has a job that challenges him and gives him the flexibility to be here for the girls and to help me. We make a great team! My girls have two parents who choose each other every day, and that is something I do not take for granted, and neither do they. Not every family has amazing grandparents who pour into their children. Sadly, we've had to learn this the hard way, as we have had people walk out of our lives who were supposed to be family and never looked back. At this point, we consider it their loss because they are missing out on two amazing little humans who I truly believe will change the world. You should never have to "Convince" people who love you to show up. If they love you, they always show up, and I'm grateful that we have a small circle that always supports us.  

I want to take this time and bottle it up.. because I know tough times are coming. People don't live forever.. Health is day to day... Everything can change in the blink of an eye, so be thankful.. be grateful.. I know I am. The days are long, but man, the years are so short. Enjoy them.. Love and take the time to enjoy the good stuff.XOXO

'Cause it's the first long kiss on a second date
Momma's all worried when you get home late
And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate
'Cause your hands are shakin' so much
An' it's the way that she looks with the rice in her hair
Eatin' burnt suppers the whole first year
An' askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff

He grabbed a carton of milk an' he poured a glass
An' I smiled an' said, "I'll have some of that"
We sat there an' talked as an hour passed
Like old friends

I saw a black an' white picture an' it caught my stare
It was a pretty girl with bouffant hair
He said, "That's my Bonnie
Taken 'bout a year after we were wed"

He said, "Spent five years in the bar"
When the cancer took her from me
But I've been sober three years now
'Cause the one thing stronger than the whiskey

Was the sight of her holdin' my baby girl
The way she adored that string of pearls
I gave her the day that our youngest boy, Earl
Married his high school love
An' it's a new tee-shirt saying, 'I'm a Grandpa'
Bein' right there as our time got small
An' holdin' her hand, when the good Lord called her up
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff"