Thats the Good Stuff

That's the Good Stuff. The Golden Moments. The Sweet Spot. I feel like I'm here.. 

I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but something has been telling me to write this down, because the moments that we are living in right now are going to be the sweet spots that I look back on when trials start. 

I know some people may be saying, "HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS!  I hate the President! I love the President! The World is Crazy!".. and while yes, I can agree with some of those things, I also know that these are the precious moments that are going to get me through the hard seasons. This is what I will look back on and remember. This is when everything was good and everyone was together. I also know that we serve a God who has already seen how this all plays out, and tells us NOT to worry. 

Right now, we are all healthy. It only takes one phone call to change all that, but right now Jordan and I are healthy, the girls are healthy, and all four of my parents are healthy. I know that may not always be the case, so I want to remember how we are right now. My parents can come and watch Cross play softball, and Londyn sing, or play the piano, or the fiddle! We have awesome holidays all together..We are all able to show up for them, and when I think about how excited I was to see my grandma in the stands of my ballgames, I know how much it means to them. The grandparent relationships that my girls have are so special. I'm so happy that my parents have stepped up when other grandparents have chosen to Not be a part of their grandchildren's lives. I can't imagine making that choice, but so many do. Especially during these, the sweetest of times. 

They say time is a thief, and when I looked at Londyn up on that stage playing the fiddle in her orchestra group, I no longer saw my chubby-cheeked, square-headed baby with her porcelain skin. I saw a beautiful tween with long eyelashes, beautiful hair, and her daddy's lips. She's stunning. We are in for a world of hurt with that one, lol. But she's also so musically talented, and watching her take command of a stage has been wonderful. Last Weekend, watching Cross play as she stepped up to the plate, so confidently, so strong, doing what she loves. She was so serious.. her face so determined, and it reminded me of her building blocks when she was little, always wanting to build the tallest tower. Now her hair is past her waist, and her blue eyes shine through her facemask. They aren't my little babies anymore. 

Time is a thief.. When Jordan and I got married, we weren't sure we'd have kids at all. We had talked about it, and gave it to God, and God, with his sense of Humor, gave us twins. So perfectly different and amazing in their own ways. We can't imagine NOT having twins now, even though we still, TO THIS DAY, get PTSD if we hear small infants crying.. We honestly don't know how we got through that season... but now we both look at the girls and want them to go back to those two-year-old days, when Cross was obsessed with her 'Giant' and Londyn only wanted to say 'Oh Wow!' to every statement she made. Willie and Dolly for Halloween, and singing Trace Adkins.. They are such animated kids! They have always entertained us and made us laugh! We don't want more babies. We just want our babies over again. My girls never really had 'terrible two's'... they were always so entertaining. Yes, we had to discipline with love and logic for SURE, but they were having so much fun! 

We have so many pics and videos of them, and they were so much fun at that age. Not to say they aren't fun now, but now we see the end date in sight.. when they go off to college to chase their own dreams.

When your kids are born, all you can see is from one day to the next. You are surviving, not thriving! You are just trying to figure out how to manage your life alongside theirs, while also juggling your marriage, your job, and your commitments. Making your life theirs, moving your activities around so you can be theirs. I can't tell you how many people said to me, "The Years are short, but the days are long," and now, as the girls are 12, I feel like I see that every day. 

Time is a thief.. Now the girls are pretty independent. They set their alarm every day and get up on their own. They tackle their homework, and they are responsible little people. I feel like you spend your days parenting your kids so they can function without you, only to realize you don't like it when they do! 

Cross still Loves Softball. It has taken over most parts of her life with all her favorite things.. the UCO Bronchos.. Softball Camps.. Texas Therapy Dog visits, and even the LA Dodgers (because we have to support Freddie Freeman and Shohei Ohtani because they are lefties!) She is mature in many ways as a softball pitcher, but still gets her feelings hurt when she doesn't receive recognition for things she does well. She's still incredibly sensitive, and this is foreign to me. I don't handle a lot of feelings well, so I've been trying to remind myself that I'm not raising myself, I'm raising her, and she's a much better person now than I will ever be. She's kind.. She saves seats for people who don't have one. She's fiercely loyal, even to those who are not loyal to her. She finds the good in all people and continues to give them chance after chance, when I would have cut them out long ago. She loves every animal, and every person, big and small, even those that are NOT lovable. 

She loves Texas softball, which is certainly NOT popular in this state! However, she had the opportunity to spend time with the Texas softball girls during therapy visits over the past two years, and they would often spend a lot of time talking about softball with her. She will never forget that. She is quietly working on her confidence because Cross is a people-pleaser who wants everyone to be happy all the time, and to be happy with her, and as we all eventually find out, this is a never-ending battle. We are working on reminding her that her identity is in Jesus, and she does not need to compete in a world of pride and power. She should know that there will always be someone who has something mean to say. She has some awesome mentors, for which we are truly thankful, the main one being our favorite, Terin Ritz at UCO. She pushes Cross, but also picks her up, and no one cheers for her louder than T! 

Time is a thief.. Londyn is the complete opposite of Cross, but in a completely beautiful way. Londyn has gone her own way from birth. She is not consumed with what other people think or say.. She also chooses friends very carefully. She does not want to be around those who make poor choices, get into trouble, or put her in trouble. She has no issues walking away from people who stress her out. She is so musical. She loves singing solos at Church, being in Musical theatre, playing the piano... and now she is playing the fiddle/violin! She is passionate about music and absolutely loves being in the Orchestra at Deer Creek. She loves a good planner and likes to be ahead with her studies. She likes to earn good grades and always ensures her assignments are turned in on time. She is a forever 'blonde' and says some of the most hysterical things to us because she truly DOES NOT KNOW. She is particular about what she wears because she likes things to match. 

She loves her curly hair and has no problems showing it off! She is much quicker to throw a comeback or a smart remark. She is sass. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's not, lol.. She has no desire to be around babies, toddlers, or other kids. She wants NO PART of babysitting! lol. She loves performing, or as she says, "My turn to shine" in whatever musical element she is doing. She loves being on the stage and is full of confidence. Londyn has amazing role models in her life, including those in the Crossings choir (Shout out to Miss Debra and Miss Kim!), who consistently pour into her music and encourage her. She loves her Orchestra teacher, and she loves her Piano teacher! She loves all her 6th-grade teachers this year! 

My family is incredibly blessed, or as my mom says "We have God's Favor," and I truly believe that. I am married to the love of my life, who somehow can deal with all of us girls! I waited a long time to find Jordan, and we have been continually blessed since we got married. We have an amazing Church and church family. Crossings is one of the greatest blessings we have, thanks to all the pastors and good people. I have an amazing job that allows me the freedom to also be present with my girls, while still allowing me to play on the radio daily. Jordan has a job that challenges him and gives him the flexibility to be here for the girls and to help me. We make a great team! My girls have two parents who choose each other every day, and that is something I do not take for granted, and neither do they. Not every family has amazing grandparents who pour into their children. Sadly, we've had to learn this the hard way, as we have had people walk out of our lives who were supposed to be family and never looked back. At this point, we consider it their loss because they are missing out on two amazing little humans who I truly believe will change the world. You should never have to "Convince" people who love you to show up. If they love you, they always show up, and I'm grateful that we have a small circle that always supports us.  

I want to take this time and bottle it up.. because I know tough times are coming. People don't live forever.. Health is day to day... Everything can change in the blink of an eye, so be thankful.. be grateful.. I know I am. The days are long, but man, the years are so short. Enjoy them.. Love and take the time to enjoy the good stuff.XOXO

'Cause it's the first long kiss on a second date
Momma's all worried when you get home late
And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate
'Cause your hands are shakin' so much
An' it's the way that she looks with the rice in her hair
Eatin' burnt suppers the whole first year
An' askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff

He grabbed a carton of milk an' he poured a glass
An' I smiled an' said, "I'll have some of that"
We sat there an' talked as an hour passed
Like old friends

I saw a black an' white picture an' it caught my stare
It was a pretty girl with bouffant hair
He said, "That's my Bonnie
Taken 'bout a year after we were wed"

He said, "Spent five years in the bar"
When the cancer took her from me
But I've been sober three years now
'Cause the one thing stronger than the whiskey

Was the sight of her holdin' my baby girl
The way she adored that string of pearls
I gave her the day that our youngest boy, Earl
Married his high school love
An' it's a new tee-shirt saying, 'I'm a Grandpa'
Bein' right there as our time got small
An' holdin' her hand, when the good Lord called her up
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff"

Back to School with Twins

Man. How do I have girls in Kindergarten? I don't know. That means I'm old. But I am not going to accept that, so stop it.  As I look back on the last 6 years of the girls lives, I think some of it went so S_L_O_W and some of it went so FAST! Now that I have 6 year old twins, I can say.. the first two years of having twins is SUPER hard.. but since then I feel like its actually easier than having just one at a time.

At Two my girls started playing with each other and entertaining each other.. So It wasn't my responsibility to entertain them all the time because they had a built in playmate! That part has been so nice! The other thing that is nice about twins is you go through the same stages at the same time.. So I haven't had to go back to the Bottle stage.. or the baby food stage.. or the Don't stick your finger in the electrical outlet stage.. They Are always in the same stage.. Wearing the same clothes.. Going to the same Grade.. That part makes life much easier! Also.. my twins really like each other. They are complete opposites of each other so they really do enjoy hanging out..

Speaking of this.. I decided to keep the girls together for Kinder. In theory I could have done a couple things.. I could have separated them, I could have put them in 1st grade, I could have put one in Kinder and one in First.. But.. Jordan and I decided the best solution for us was to put them in the same class in Kindergarten. Cross would have been fine in 1st grade, and Londyn probably would have too, but since their birthday is late May everyone told me "You won't regret having your kid at home an extra year" so we opted for Kindergarten.

We also opted to keep them together because they are such different little souls. They share some friends, but also have different friends and different things they like to do. They are night and day different when it comes to personality! They wanted to stay together this year, so we let them. They usually separate twins, but I figure there's going to be plenty of times in their lives that they are sick of being around each other, so while they WANT to be around each other, we should let them!

So off they go to Elementary Public School.. Isn't it funny what we decide is so 'scary and new' for our kids, but was perfectly acceptable for us? I mean I'm from Canute.. the country.. the farm.. So Private school was never an option for me. We didn't even have a private school in Canute.. Yet up here in "the City" (This is how I referred to OKC most of my life because I'm country) we almost feel guilty if we don't try to put our kids in a private school.. Jordan and I opted for public school because we didn't want to be 'school poor'.. by paying so much in tuition each year.. I mean if we had all the money in the world would we do it? SURE.. but we don't.. so there's that.

Its just funny because you look around and think.. Well.. I didn't go to Private school and I turned out ok.. I didn't have a computer and I turned out ok.. I didn't have a smart phone at 8 and I turned out ok.. Perspective I suppose. We parents already feel guilt about almost everything these days, but really when you think about it.. we are all doing just fine by being present and doing the best we can.

I can't tell you how many books on Parenting, Discipline, Daring Greatly, Love and Logic and Pregnancy I have read in my lifetime so I can "Feel" like I'm Equipped to parent.. But at the end of the day, we just all have to do what is best for our family and trust that the Lord has gifted us these kids to be OUR kids and they were built for US, and he will have his hand on them and us the rest of our lives. Trusting is hard. Faith is Hard. Parenting is Hard.

So far they have loved everything about school. They've made new friends.. enjoyed going through the lunch line.. They are asking me for lunch boxes.. I told them I would get them a lunch box, but I wasn't putting anything in it! ha! My kids are GREAT eaters. .not picky at all, so you can bet your sweet Bippy if someone else offers to feed them a delightful lunch.. I'm not making one!

We have had some family members going through health issues lately and that has been hard. Jordan also got super sick for a week and that was hard too. Lately it seems we've had one thing after another!  Life is always full of unexpected Circumstances and we just have to roll with the punches.

We are so thankful and grateful for awesome family members who step up and help us, and awesome friends who support us. Its taken me 40 years to find an amazing set of friends, but I'm sure grateful that I found them! Brene' Brown says "Joy is probably the most vulnerable emotion we experience in our lives" and I agree, because at the second you are experiencing Joy, you realize that in the next second something terrible could happen.. So be Grateful for all the moments. Celebrate the joys, and be grateful. Besides.. Positive people live longer.. I talked about that on my show yesterday.. so for no other reason.. be joyful and positive.. because it will make you live longer.. lol.. Enjoy this cooler weather while we have it!

My Kids Better than Your Kid...

As the girls are growing and developing I've realized that apparently there is crazy competition that all parents enter called "My Kid can do things that your Kid cannot".. and it is has become humorous to me.

Everywhere we go people are all over the girls.. They want to talk to them, play peek-a-boo with them, say hello, etc.. Which is awesome.. but every now and then you run into someone that asks "Oh, are they walking?" Or something along those lines.. Well, when I answer people immediately start to judge.. "Oh really? My son started walking at 9 months. Guess he was just an early learner"..etc..Which would imply that my kid is a slow learner and there for an inadequate blob. Well thank you for letting me know, should I just throw them outside now?  It Cracks me Up! WHO CARES! Kids are kids.. they are going to do things at different times.. It doesn't mean one is better than the other! Cross was walking by her birthday, and Londyn started walking a month later.. I started walking at 9 months.. MJ started walking at something like 18 months.. Does that mean MJ was a slow learner? No..it means he was smarter than the rest of us because people kept carrying him around!

Now listen, I am one of the most competitive people you will ever meet.. I can't play ANYTHING for fun.. Like anything. Its depressing. When I was in College a guy asked me to play tennis one day.. I thought we were going to go out there and hit the ball around.. Well we go out there and he SCHOOLS me at tennis.. After that day I went and joined a tennis league, played twice a week, learned to serve and that guy NEVER beat me again.. THATS how I roll.. I race people in Wal-mart to the checkout line. When I play monopoly I buy all the properties and put 2 hotels on each one so you will go bankrupt when you land on one. I left a softball league once because they sucked, and joined another one that later went on to win the league championship..I had to play racquetball with the guys because the girls would cry when I  hit them in the back with the ball.. So as you can see.. I am competitive..

However, when it comes to kids, I find that parents are really just big, fat, liars.. Your baby didn't start talking at 6 months old.. Your newborn hasn't slept through the night every day since you brought him home.. Your daughter can't say her ABC's at 12 months. Your Son didn't start walking at 5 months.. Your kid didn't learn to drink out of a glass and never spill it at 11 months..

I feel like when parents say these things to other parents it sets the bar so high on the "Parenting Scale" that others feel like they can never live up to it. We are all proud of our kids, but just because your kid isn't potty trained by 18 months, you aren't going to get written up by the parenting gods! Its unrealistic, and ridiculous.. Plus when we hear these things, we  know Its a load of crap and talk about it behind your back.. so there you go.

Now, if you are reading this and you have one of those genius kids that have been on the Ellen show, just disregard.. I'm not talking to you. I realize that we all want our kids to be great, but honestly, shouldn't we be rewarding them for what they ARE doing instead of feeling bad for what they Aren't doing? Plus its really all relative.. they will all eventually learn to walk, talk, read and write.. so what difference does it make if it takes one a little longer?

Its also stressful when you go to their Dr. Appointments and they give you a 'list' of things your kid should be doing by a certain age.. Well.... What if they aren't? Should we just assume they are fools and leave it at that? Lol.. no.. I realize its just a 'gauge' but its still intimidating because you feel like your kid should measure up to the other 15 month olds in the world.. Thankfully, for me, since I had twins, my Pedi doesn't give me that list.. I'm not sure why, but I've never seen it.. So I just assume they are doing what they are supposed to be doing.. Being Toddlers and running wild!

So the moral of this story is.. Whether you have kids, no kids, grandkids, or whatever.. Don't let other people make you feel like you are a bad parent if your baby doesn't play Beethoven's 5th by the time he's 2.. Its ok. We aren't all Beethoven.. And if another parent tries to make you feel bad about what your kid is, or isn't doing, you can always just say "Well thats ok, because my baby is cuter than yours" and walk off..

 Boom Chaka Laka..
K