I can't believe they are almost 3..

Man.. I can't believe in less than a week my girls will turn 3. In some ways it seems like a life time ago that they were born, and then in other aspects it seems like just yesterday. I can say for sure I don't miss the times when they were itty bitty.. Like 0-4 months. That was such a scary time for us. We had no clue about what to do with babies.. and we had two of them, so that only made us more crazy. People ask me about that time, and honestly, I only remember parts of it. I think my mind was part gone, and on Auto-pilot.. I know I wasn't sleeping much because they woke up every 2 hours, and then when they weren't awake, I was awake pumping.. so I think I might have just been delusional for the first 4 months..

After the 7 month.. life got better. I read the book "The Sleep Easy Solution" and it changed my life..and the girls sleeping habits.. I remember at the time thinking 0-6 months took forever, but 6 to 1 yr, flew by.. and then 1-2 flew by.. and now 2-3 has flown by. I feel sentimental as I write this, because I know I'm not going to have any more children. I don't want any.. but I feel like sometimes I just want to re-live the moments with mine over and over. This is a fun stage, but one of the hardest.. So trying on my patience, but also so rewarding, and everything just seems so uncertain.. Am I doing it right? What is a good way to Discipline? How do I get them to have manners? Why don't they like to eat Beans? Why are you asking me for Candy at 7am? Will you turn out ok? Do you know how much we love you? Are you sad that I don't stay home with you? Are you happy to be a twin? Is the sun going to burn you? Are ticks crawling on you? Is the Microwave giving you cancer? Are Those Gummies you love organic? Are you excited for pre-school in the fall? I mean.. I ask myself these questions every. single. Day..

And then the worrying.. oh geesh.. Its never ending, even though I'm smart enough to know that worrying does ZERO good. I've read Philippians.. I get it.. Yet it doesn't turn it off in my brain. Thankfully one of my spiritual gifts is FAITH and I truly do believe that God is going to take care of my family and I during all stages of life.. But as I watch what is currently going on in the world.. it gives me anxiety.. and worry creeps back in my mind. What if something happens to me? What if something happens to them? The What-if's can go on forever.. and the News reports certainly don't help calm that anxiety.. But.. at the end of the day.. I have to put those thoughts to bed and realize.. whatever happens.. whenever it happens.. Will be God's will for me, and it will be ok.. He will take care of us..and he will not leave us.

Last week.. after the 3rd person recommended it to me.. I decided to pickup "Love and Logic" for Toddlers.. for discipline ideas.. Well.. I've been doing it for over a week now, and man its TOUGH. Mainly on ME..They have audio CD's, and Books..

I think it actually works on the girls quite well.. but the biggest difference is how Jordan & I respond to them when they are acting foolish.. The premise is getting your kids to make good decisions.. because its a GOOD decision.. not because you said so. And giving them plenty of options to want to make good decisions. So instead of just barking orders at them.. I say "Uh oh.. I think there is a nicer way to talk to mommy. If you can't talk to mommy nicely then... XYZ".. Whatever your form of discipline will be.. For Cross, its having to go sit by herself.. that is the worst punishment for her, because it means she's away from me.. and since she wants to be with me all the time, this usually works pretty well. I'll tell her to go sit by herself until she can be happy and fun again.. and then she will come out, and say "I'm happy" and we move on.. Or "Uh Oh.. Mommy doesn't like to hear whining.. You can keep whining, you'll just have to go in the other room because it hurts Mom's ears"... There's no yelling.. No screaming.. No frustration.. So I think its actually been better for me.. Because you know, Parenting is FRUSTRATING.. and they make you want to pull your hair out sometimes! But me saying 'uh oh" is completely out of my character, and it immediately diffuses the situation because I sound so ridiculous! So we'll stick with it, and hopefully get better as we go along. I mean can you even imagine it right now? Me saying "UH OH".. It kills Jordan.. he laughs constantly.. lol.. So I guess thats another motivating factor.

 We have been having a lot of fun lately. A few weeks ago we went to the farm for Mothers day and the girls loved playing with Woody their horse, and Kris, the Donkey.. They loved the Hay-bales, and we loved watching them effortlessly run up and down them.. (Just like I used to do).. We went to a birthday party last week at Gatti Town.. We went Bowling at Redpin.. The Girls LOVE bowling.. Cross asks to go every day now.. We went to the Botanical Gardens and let the girls explore and run.. Then yesterday Leslie wanted the day off, so MJ stayed home with the girls and he and GT took them to the Science Museum! So they have really had a fun few past weeks!

This next week they will get to go back to Western Oklahoma and the farm and visit everyone out there.. MJ and I will put the finishing touches on the Michael Jackson birthday Party.. and then they will have their big Party on the 28th. I think it will be a lot of fun.. and I hope they recognize how awesome their hip mom is by throwing a Michael Jackson 3rd Birthday Party.. lol.. I have a feeling I'll probably always be trying to convince them that I'm pretty cool.. I'm putting a Mix CD in each of the goody bags to keep the dream alive..

The girls have started holding hands lately.. They really seem to love having each other around. They will always have someone to play with.. always have someone to talk to late at night.. always have someone who knows exactly how crazy their parents are.. always have someone to talk to.. always have someone to pray with.. I hope they always love each other like they love each other now.. Because its pretty great to watch.. and it makes me forget about all the times I've had to say "UH OH" this week.. lol.. #twinning