Wednesday, January 24, 2018
You know.. there was a time when I was pregnant with twins that I thought I might not make it.. And there have been several times since that moment that I thought the same!
I found out I was pregnant with twins when I was literally 10 days pregnant.. I had a dream to pee on a stick.. I know.. I know.. I can't make this crap up.. But I did.. So I did.. and there was a faint line.. In thinking back it probably showed up because there were TWO babies in there at the time..
I remember being insane until I got to that first doctors appointment.. Everything was new and weird.. I had never been pregnant before.. and there were so many things that google told you that would scare the crap out of you..We didn't tell very many people.. only a few because we were scared.. That actually STARTED the fear..
Fast forward to the 8 week appointment when they nonchalantly told us there were two babies.. this was a horrifying experience.. if you would like to read the details.. here's THAT blog.. Its pretty entertaining.. But.. at the point where we found out there were two babies.. After completely losing it in the Dr's room... I remember just feeling the overwhelming peace that the Lord was in full control of this situation.. How? Why? Um, well because it had never even OCCURRED to us we could have twins.. or it was a thing.. So I had a complete sense of Peace that "God has to have this one, because this is certainly NOT my plan".. and from that moment on I knew that God had this one.. Even when I got admitted to the hospital at 26 weeks.. I never really worried about it.. Now, I was annoyed about being in the hospital.. but I always knew that the girls were fine..
People (Usually people that have a new baby) frequently come up to Jordan and say to us "Man.. How in the hell did you do it with TWO babies.. we are dying with One".. and our response is always the same.. "We didn't know any better, and we didn't have that option".. I'll be honest though.. We don't remember much of that first year. I asked Jordan the other day "Do you remember the girls saying Mama or dada?".. Jordan.. "No".. lol.. We were delusional.. We didn't sleep.. We both went back to work.. I was pumping until the girls were 13 months old.. I mean it was sheer survival.. If we went anywhere it was Two of those ridiculously heavy car seat carrier things.. We were taking swings, bouncers, bottles, rattles, blankets, and bags.. It was like a circus coming to town.. We felt like we missed on the "fun" parts of having a baby.. because we always had two that needed us..
But....... But........ Now.. fast forward to when the girls were about 2.. our lives suddenly got much easier than the lives of people who only had one.. Why? Because ours started playing.. with each other.. Which meant we weren't solely responsible for entertaining our kids all day! Twinning! So now.. I feel like our lives are easier in many ways than those who have one kid.. then later have another.. We don't have to go back and potty train again.. we don't have to get bottles all over.. we don't have to buy different clothing sizes, and start over.. So Now.. NOW ladies and Gents.. I feel like we are winning at the child care game!!! lol
AS I was listening to the girls laugh last night in the bath tub.. and then get out and play barbies for an hour.. I thought.. YES... YES! This has actually become EASIER now. The girls REALLY like us.. they want to be around us and each other.. What! I know! They mostly listen to what we ask them to do.. they play nice.. they are nice to our animals.. I mean.. its Good! Now I know all you parents are saying. 'Oh you silly goat.. you just wait'.. And yes.. I know there is going to come a time when I go back and read this blog and think.. "oh man. Those were the days".. because the hard years will arrive eventually.. but I trust that God will carry us through those like he carried us through the twin pregnancy and those first few years.. This is his plan.
For a good portion of my life I treated God like a back seat driver.. I let him in the car.. enjoyed having conversations with him.. but I was always driving.. Having twins MADE me turn the wheel over to him.. I had no choice. I had no clue, was oblivious, and scared.. "Jesus take the wheel!".. Right?? Everyone (including us) has stress in our life.. Life is not easy. People are not easy to deal with sometimes. We go through situations every day that test us.. and try our patience.. Its always going to be that way.. And there are still times when I still try to correct him from the passenger side.. or suggest he take an alternate route.. but at the end of the day.. He's driving.. and I'm ok with that.. He's a really good driver, and the scenery on his route is a lot prettier..