Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Letter to my Grandma

Yesterday at Crossings, Lance Ward preached a great sermon. It might sound a bit morbid when I tell you.. but he basically asked the question, "How do you want to die?" Here's the whole thing if you want to watch it.. Its really good. A Matter of Life & Death--Lance Ward.. It was about knowing if you were only doing things to get to HEAVEN.. that you were missing the whole point. Because when you get to Heaven, if Jesus isn't there with you, its not going to be any fun.

He was talking about what people might say about us when we died. Would they know we were Christians? Would they know how important Jesus & Church was to us? Did we exhibit traits of a Christians? When he described what a true Christian should look like.. it was "Someone running after Jesus.".. seeking him, chasing him.. Hanging onto him as a life preserver! Holding onto him in the good times, holding onto him even harder in the bad times as we bear the stormy seas of life. And the whole time he was talking about who might be an example of this.. I kept thinking of my grandma Leona. I hope everyone has someone like her in their life.

Leona Lucille Sheperd is my dad, Kirby's mom.. She had my dad in her later 30's, so I only got to know her for 22 years. But man.. did she pack a lot into those years! My Grandma passed away in 1999. Its Crazy to think she's almost been gone as long as I knew her.. Because she's still so vivid and clear in my mind. I hope it always stays that way.

Grandma Loney (thats what I called her) kept me full time from when I was born, till I went to school. Every day mom would drop me off at  their house in Lake Valley, which was out in the country.. literally in the middle of no-where.. And everyday we had an adventure. Make no mistake, my Grandpa Shep was there too, and he was a huge influence as well. He would take me to the "blue Goose" to get full service gas.. or to Play Dominos..It was literally the best days ever.. because all they wanted to do was play with me all day. On Friday Mornings we would drive to Cordell and get Groceries at United, and then they would take me to TG and Y (remember that!) to get a new toy. There were no ipads, no smart phones, (they still had a party line back then!) and no Pokemon.. lol.. Just my grandparents and I in the wilderness of Rural Gotebo! So Today I'm writing her a letter.. to honor her.. And to remind myself to be better about Chasing after Jesus. Society tells us to be selfish. Find things that only fulfill us.. make us happy..entertain us.... So in today's world its hard to remember sometimes that its not ALL ABOUT US. And its certainly hard to teach your kids that its not always ALL ABOUT THEM. But thankfully I have a great family and church family that puts the reminder in my head that I'm not on this earth to be all about me. I'm hand-picked, special, unique.. and I want my girls to feel that way too.

Dear Grandma Loney,

While you were here, I know you knew how much I loved you.. but since you are in heaven now, I did want to tell you a few things that are really important, and hi-five you for being such an important role model in my life.. Even when you thought I wasn't listening.

I remember a few things that we played together.. but mainly I just remember us being together. I remember you telling me bible stories, and telling me how many times you read your bible from front to back. At the time, that seemed impossible to me because it was such a big book with such small words! You were also funny and said things I didn't understand.. Like when you would giggle at me so loudly that you would say "You are going to laugh the Pee Waddlin' out of me!".. and we would laugh. And random stories you made up about some fictitious (or at least I think he was) character named "Old Bloody Tom".. lol..  Playing marbles on the floor of the Kitchen, hiding "treasures" in the side of a red clay Canyon.. I remember you telling me about Jesus and how important he was going to be in my life. You were always running Toward Jesus..

I loved going to church with you and sitting beside you while you sang old hymns. I sing those same hymns to the girls today, and I know I only know them from you and the Baptist church, because not too many churches sing old hymns anymore, yet the words are very present in my mind. .. Thank you for teaching me those songs, and letting me stand on a bucket in the front yard and do a 'concert' for you and grandpa.. I sang into a hairbrush..and you guys clapped so loudly every time I finished. You always encouraged me to sing, even though I'm pretty sure at that age, it sounded terrible. And when I got older.. you still wanted me to sing. Its one of the things that made you smile the biggest..
Baby KC and Grandpa Shep

Today I'm tired. I wonder how you were able to keep up with me when I was little.. Especially since Crosslee is just like me, and she WEARS. ME. OUT. I wonder how you didn't just want to sit in your chair and send me off to do something so you could catch a quick breath, instead of going outside with me and playing in the creek? How were you so patient? I never even remember you raising your voice to me, and I know I had to be super annoying at some point! How did you find the time to cook me breakfast and lunch everyday.. from scratch.. and allow me to cook with you? It would have been so much easier for you to just do it yourself.. but you let me stir every batter, lick every cookie pan, and layer every casserole. You let me eat Cherry pie filling out of the can as a 'snack'! How were you able to minister to those in need? Didn't you ever get tired of hearing other people's problems? How were you always able to provide good advice?

How did you manage to show Grandpa so much patience and empathy when he lost his voice & right hand from the stroke? How did you continue to love him through that? How did You never lose your patience with either of us when we were asking you for 32 things? I wish I had your empathetic nature sometimes when I'm at my breaking point. I wish You could meet the girls. I know you see them daily.. but they both do little things that remind me of you. Cross is obsessed with Owls, and watching birds.. Just like you. Londyn is the one named after you, and we call her Cille, more than we call her Londyn. She's very sweet.. I wish I knew what you looked like as a little girl.. because I imagine thats what Cille looks like. Every time I see a Cardinal I think of you.. And every time Cross asks for another stuffed owl, I think of you..

When I step into church on Sundays.. I almost immediately think about you. Its like you are happy I am there and I feel that. I'm so thankful to have found an amazing church home, family, and Sunday school class. I know you would be so proud of that. I hope I make you proud, and I hope you continue to teach me through the girls. They are filled with curiosity and there are days I just can't keep up with them.. but I know you kept up with me, so you inspire me to go on. Thank you for always letting me learn from you.. Letting me lick the spoons.. Jordan thanks you and mom everyday because I am a really good cook.. and I follow very few recipes! I just wing it.. because I was always in the kitchen with you guys. Thank you for never being too busy to sit with me and read.. Thank you for clarifying the bible for me when I had questions (from the Left behind series).. lol.. Thank you for encouraging me to wait on a Godly man to marry, and to not settle for anything less. Thank you for being kind...To everyone you came in contact with.. and not judging anyone, even when I know you wanted to! (We let Aunt Mildred do that! ha).
                                                                        (KC at 2)

Thank you for showing me what it truly means to Love someone. To be able to care for grandpa like you did. Giving up your life for his because he needed you. And thank you for showing me what it means to love Jesus. I remember back in 1982 you told me you would be fine with dying at any time..and I thought What! No way!.. but you said, "I can't wait to see Jesus!".. And the day you called me and told me you had Pancreatic Cancer, and 6 months to live.. I said "Well..when do you start treatment?" and you said.. "I'm not starting treatment.. I can't wait to see Jesus, and this will just speed up the process, what do you want from my house?".. I thought you were crazy!I wasn't ready to let you go! It wasn't time! I needed more from you!  Little did I know, that the Lord had provided us both the perfect amount of time to get ready to say goodbye. I cherished those 6 months, and left nothing unsaid, and neither did you. What a gift.

I hope you enjoy watching the girls and I..  I can hear you laughing when you found out I was having twin girls.. God is funny! Thank you for whispering patience into my ear sometimes when I don't have any..Reminding me to count my blessings daily.. Reminding me to Pray and give thanks.. Reminding me that not being like everyone else is ok,  and reminding me to always Run for Jesus.. I surely hope that is something we can teach the girls to run for as well. They say the Lord sends you exactly who you need, and he knew I needed you.. to teach me to be more like him. Love you,

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Game of Twins

So. The fighting has started. You know it was inevitable, when you have two kids that are the same age.. In our house, we have never dressed the girls alike, bought them the same exact toys, or given them the same plates/cups. We have always treated them like they were completely separate people who just happened to be born the same time.. because thats how its always been..

If you've met my girls.. You probably didn't even realize they were sisters, much less twins.. they are COMPLETE opposites.. From their blonde/brown hair to their personalities.. They look and act nothing alike.. so we have never treated them alike.. But.. we are about to start. WHY you ask? Because whatever one has.. the other one wants. NON STOP.

It all started a few months ago with the HULK action figure. Cross has always liked Creepy stuff, so when she saw the Hulk on a Commercial, she loved him.. So she wanted the big action figure, so we got her one.. And we got Londyn a Thomas the Train, because that is what she loved.. Ssoon after Cille started crying to have the Hulk.. So we had to go get her one to avoid the Hulk being in a permanent time out. Well... then we made the mistake of taking the Hulk to Gigi & Pa's house.. and we lost him.. Which was another issue, lol.. but anyway.. After that day it seemed like whatever one girl had, the other girl wanted.. so now.. we have to buy TWO of the exact same items.. plates.. cups.. Bug Juice.. apple juice boxes.. Puzzles.. etc.. or its a fight. So we will officially start being 'twin' parents.. By getting the same thing of everything.. Well.. except clothes. They aren't fighting about that... ... ... Yet.

We have had a fun two weeks. My Dad had his birthday Party in Sentinel on the 23, in Sentinel.. and they rented a giant inflatable Toad Water slide for the kids. They all had a blast.. Well My two did, and cousin Joe. They had to have gone down that thing about 325 times. Add that to all the swimming they did that weekend at Gigi's..and you have a couple of water dogs! They love swimming, they love playing in the water, and they love going to the splash pads. They are really enjoying their summer.

Are they Potty trained? Nope. And Don's ask me again. You know How I feel about that.. So moving on.. Cross found her Halloween Costume. Its the Owl from Harry Potter. I bought it months ago, and she found it hanging in the closet and took it immediately. She's been flying around the house the past few days. Londyn has become a big fan of Sunglasses now. I'm pretty sure she has my sensitive eyes, so she likes to wear them when she goes out.

They have also been having a big time with Woody, the min horse, and Kris, the Donkey. Kris is not really meant for riding, but he likes to go wherever people are hanging out, and wherever Woody is hanging out.. He never minds what we do to him. He's a pretty good Donkey.. if there is such a thing.

Jordan and I painted the living room. It needed to happen. It was a green color, and it was just TOO dark for me. Its a dark room anyway, and the darkness was making me crazy, so we went to Sherwin Williams and grabbed a lighter blue color and went to town. In True KC fashion, I didn't tape anything, I didn't cover anything.. Just started painting one day when I got home. We finished up this weekend and it looks SO much better.. and we are still married.. so Hey, WIN!!!

Hope you guys are having a great summer!

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Mr. Pooptastic..

Two words for you. POTTY. TRAINING.

Why do people do this? I really don't know.. I mean sorry for being negative here.. But I just don't see the point. I mean yeah, ok, we can't pee our pants forever.. But.. It sure seems, TO ME, that wearing diapers is easier.. and I know what people are saying.. "blah blah KC, you can't wear diapers as an adult.. etc".. Ok whatever. There are times when wearing a diaper on a road trip sounded REALLY good to me..Ask Jordan.. He will tell you, that he would MUCH rather me wear a diaper, than stop to pee 245 times.. Now.. Imagine doing that with ME and the GIRLS. See, that sounds awful.

Before I had kids.. I was always like.. Oh woopty do. You potty train them at 18 months (Because that is when My mom said I was potty trained) and call it a day.. they will get it immediately, and be bionic potty trained machines. NO. NO. NO. This is not how it goes fellas.. ITS NOT. For example.. right now.. Crosslee is 100% potty trained on Pee. She tells us she needs to go, and goes in the pot 100% of the time. YAY Cross! See that was easy!. NO. Because she does not Poop in the pot. Like ever. So now.. I ask you.. What is worse? Spending money on diapers? Or spending money on new Underwear? The diapers are cheaper. And a lot less of a mess.. But what about Cille you ask? Yeah. Haven't even started. You know why? Because Londyn Lucille doesn't do anything unless its her idea.. So here's how that would go:

ME--Londyn do you want to pee in the potty
ME--Mommy gives treats to girls who pee in the potty
Me--Mommy gives gold and silver and unicorns and ponies and magic to girls that pee in the potty

I always thought that training dogs would give me a leg up on training kids. Dogs are usually pretty easy, because they are either 1) Treat Driven, or 2) Praise Driven.. For example, Miss Payslee was SUPER easy to potty train. Because she was Praise driven AND treat driven.. She had one accident, we corrected that, praised her, gave her some liver, and boom! She was completely house-trained by 8 weeks old. Then there was Sawyer.. Sawyer grew up in a cage, so we had a lot to overcome by the time I rescued him at 12 weeks. He was not praise driven at all. So it took SO..........MUCH......Longer.. Because he just didn't care.. He was always listening and watching.. but he doesn't' do anything till he's dang good and ready to do it.. I used to try to reward him with Liver.. and he would spit it at me.. That is Londyn. She's not doing it until its on her terms.. I don't care who tells her, or how great of an idea it might be. So Londyn might be one of the Kindergarten kids you see in diapers.. I'm not sure.

So.. I've given Cross a few more weeks. If she doesn't quit pooping in her pants by then, I'm just going back to diapers. Go ahead, judge away.. but I think its more stress on both of us when she doesn't get it.. So we can re-visit it later.. Maybe by that time Lucille will be ready to try. Who knows. They both may go to Kindergarten in diapers. Yay me.

In other news.. that is less 'crappy'.. see what I did there! Hey! Zing! Ok.. We had a great 4th of July.. but MAN OH MAN it was hot. Gigi Picked up the girls on Friday, and Jordan and I went down on Sunday..They had a big weekend with Gigi & Pa.. and then we went to Dads house on the 4th of July for the Big Sentinel Extravaganza.. Ok, its prob not THAT big.. but it was a parade, food in the park, and Miss Tiny Tot, and Mr. Muscle.. Techincally, the girls were allowed to enter Miss Tiny Tot.. You can enter from 3-5.. But I didn't think they would care about it this year. I was Wrong. Cross Cared. She cried the whole time the others were on the Stage.. "When is it my turn!".. I should have known.. Here's her routine.. she is doing a little dance..
But.. they always have next year.. because this year.. Cousins, Ava & Joe won! They brought home the gold and represented! So Maybe I'll work up a magical little twin routine for next year, and we can carry on the tradition.. Here's the Fabulous Four.. 

We had a great time! And the girls were really sweet most of the time.. They still like holding hands, and hugging each other, and that makes us really proud. I mean geez.. whats the point of having two at a time if they aren't going to like each other.. Am I right!

Jordan's Grandma died on Sunday.. Sad deal, but she got to see everyone she wanted to see and died peacefully. It was his dad's mom, Geraldine, and we got to take the girls to see her last week. Cross said the Lords Prayer to her, and told her the Love & Logic Motto.. lol.. She was happy to see them, and they brightened her day, which is why we were there. Everyone got to say their goodbyes to her, which was awesome, and she wasn't in any pain, which is the best thing we could ask for. Her funeral is this weekend, so we are going to take the girls to Tulsa for a little get-away. Hopefully they will be nice and quiet during the service.. but.. They are twin 3 year olds, so who know! I'll report back.. Hope you guys had a great 4th..and I hope you aren't potty training anything anytime soon. 

Friday, July 1, 2016

Hot Weather, Good Times.

Well.. its been an interesting couple of weeks..

Before the Girls birthday Party mom had taken off work and was going to watch the girls for the week while I put the finishing touch on the Michael Jackson Party.. But Steve got really sick, and we had no idea what was going on.. So we rushed him to the ER, My Dad Kirby Rushed to get the girls.. We rushed to Western OK, then Steve was Rushed to OKC.. So it was kindof a whirlwind of events.. Turns out.. after 5 days in the hospital.. He had a bleeding Ulcer.. The fixed it.. Then he had another small one.. and they Fixed that.. Then he ended up having a Scan that showed some weird mass on his Rib.. so that led to us all freaking out.. praying.. wondering if it was Cancerous.. Finding out it was not.. Praying again... Giving Thanks.. and Celebrating. And it just really gets your minds to thinking that this Life does not last forever.

We did a study of Ecclesiastes a few months ago in Small Group.. and one of the main points of that book is that.. Life is Short.. Eat the Chocolate.. Drink the Wine.. Don't sweat the small stuff.. because at the end of the day, we only get one life, and we have to make it count. Marty did a sermon a few weeks ago about Stages of Life. When you are young.. you never think about things like stages of life.. Because you are too busy trying to fly to the next one.. Wanting to go to school.. then wanting to do sports.. then wanting to go to Jr. High.. then wanting to Drive.. then wanting to Graduate.. then wanting to go to college.. I mean, you don't even stop to think about the time that is flying by, and then its been 20 years and you think "What happened?"...

Everyone had told me SO. Many. Times. I mean seriously. So many.. "Enjoy those babies, because it all goes so fast".. And for awhile.. Jordan and I wanted to punch those people in the face.. because we were thinking, "HOORAY! Let it goooo.. let it gooooooooo (Frozen reference there)".. Because it was SO hard. .But now we see it. The girls are growing so much.. which means we are only getting older.. Which means My parents are getting older.. And while this is an amazing time for all of us.. I get a little emotional when I think about it now. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this stage of life! I don't think you ever get to a point where you don't think your parents are invincible.. Or I know you certainly don't want to. But thankfully.. everyone now is healthy, so we are going to continue to count our blessings!

4th of July is just around the Corner.. Sentinel always has a Celebration and we are going to take the girls down there to play with their cousins. They have a contest for "Miss Tiny Tot".. but I think we will wait till next year.. By then I can work up some sort of magic Twin Tag Team Tiny Totting! Plus.. right now.. All Cross wants to do is listen to Beat it.. so I'm not sure what that routine would entail.

We took the girls to Orr Family Farms last weekend.. It was Hotter'n Hades.. but we went when they opened at 10. They love jumping on those Jumping Pillows, riding the Carousel, and of course.. riding the Train. Pops and Grammy are taking them to spend "A Day with Thomas" in September, and they are going to flip. They will both be super excited.

Mom is coming to get them tomorrow and they LOVE swimming, so they will be doing that, Riding Woody, playing in the hay, and just doing their usual Farm Adventures. I'm so grateful they will have fun Farm Moments!

There have been a few moments (A FEW.. I said) when its bee really super fun to have twins. The girls really like playing together now, and watching the way they love each other and take care of each other is really cool. God knew I was only going to get pregnant ONCE, and so he really made it count.. now they will always have a built in friend..and someone to talk about their crazy parents to.. lol

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Michael Jackson Party Fun

Well I pulled off another fantastic Party this year for the girls. The theme was "This is IT--The Crosslee & Londyn 3rd birthday Tour" with Michael Jackson. It was pretty fantastic.. from an adult standpoint. I have no idea if anyone else "got" most of the little things I did.. but for me, it was awesome..

Now, some were saying..."Why would you have a Michael Jackson party.. the girls are too young to even know about him".. Not true. My girls have been Jackson fans pretty much since birth. He used to be the only thing that could make Cross quit crying..and it would instantly make her smile when she heard his songs.. I left the house yesterday morning with both of the girls wearing a sparkle Fedora, Glitter Gloves, and listening to Beat it.. So the music is strong with those two..and Michael Jackson. In fact Cross is in a phase right now where all she wants to do is sing 'Beat it'.. it used to be "Smooth Criminal".. but we have moved past that one, and onto Beat it full time now..

Here's some party pics.

As you can see.. I customized at TON of stuff.. So much so, That I've decided to start planning parties for people.. So if you ever need that service, and want to throw parties that are as ridiculous as mine, hit me up. I even created a facebook page for it.. And gave it a name "Pocket full of Funshine"  Feel free to go like it, and make me feel loved. 

I had custom Shirts made for the girls, they wore their glitter sparkle pants..and they also had Fedora's and Glitter Gloves.. with Glitter Shoes. We had Signs for every snack.. Like 
"Blame it on the Cookies"==Blame it on the Boogie
"Bille Cheese is not just Cheddar"==Billie Jean
"Don't Stop till you Get a Puff"==Don't Stop till you Get Enough
"Smooth Criminal Punch" "Off the Wall Fruit"... all of which had a Pic of Michael, and were lined with Glitter.. We had a Michael Jackson Cake, complete with Microphone Cake Pops (Made by Chubby Cheeks Cake Love) In each of the goody bags for the kids, I put Aviators, Inflated Microphones, Customized Michael Jackson Mix Tapes, Bubbles, (With Bubbles the chimp on them) Microphone Bubbles, Customized Black Hershey's kisses with Birthday Stickers on the bottom, King of POPCORN bags of Popcorn. I mean it goes on and on.. it was ridiculous..and over the top.. Pretty much like everything I do! 

But it was at the playground, perfect weather.. All the grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins, and Friends were there! It was an awesome time. When Cross got there she went and looked at everything and said "Mommy.. its just gorgeous!".. She's started using the word Gorgeous, and delicious quite a bit.. "Mommy, Can I have a delicious piece of candy?" She's a mess.. But they all had a good time. We are truly blessed to have such awesome people around our girls that love and care about them! 

Jordan & I started our LOVE and LOGIC class last night at Crossings.. its SO GOOD. We are really enjoying it.. its so freeing as a parent to have a guide, to know what to do, and to be prepared. We love it! And.. we will need it.. We started Potty training last week.. We need all the help we can get.. lol 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

I can't believe they are almost 3..

Man.. I can't believe in less than a week my girls will turn 3. In some ways it seems like a life time ago that they were born, and then in other aspects it seems like just yesterday. I can say for sure I don't miss the times when they were itty bitty.. Like 0-4 months. That was such a scary time for us. We had no clue about what to do with babies.. and we had two of them, so that only made us more crazy. People ask me about that time, and honestly, I only remember parts of it. I think my mind was part gone, and on Auto-pilot.. I know I wasn't sleeping much because they woke up every 2 hours, and then when they weren't awake, I was awake pumping.. so I think I might have just been delusional for the first 4 months..

After the 7 month.. life got better. I read the book "The Sleep Easy Solution" and it changed my life..and the girls sleeping habits.. I remember at the time thinking 0-6 months took forever, but 6 to 1 yr, flew by.. and then 1-2 flew by.. and now 2-3 has flown by. I feel sentimental as I write this, because I know I'm not going to have any more children. I don't want any.. but I feel like sometimes I just want to re-live the moments with mine over and over. This is a fun stage, but one of the hardest.. So trying on my patience, but also so rewarding, and everything just seems so uncertain.. Am I doing it right? What is a good way to Discipline? How do I get them to have manners? Why don't they like to eat Beans? Why are you asking me for Candy at 7am? Will you turn out ok? Do you know how much we love you? Are you sad that I don't stay home with you? Are you happy to be a twin? Is the sun going to burn you? Are ticks crawling on you? Is the Microwave giving you cancer? Are Those Gummies you love organic? Are you excited for pre-school in the fall? I mean.. I ask myself these questions every. single. Day..

And then the worrying.. oh geesh.. Its never ending, even though I'm smart enough to know that worrying does ZERO good. I've read Philippians.. I get it.. Yet it doesn't turn it off in my brain. Thankfully one of my spiritual gifts is FAITH and I truly do believe that God is going to take care of my family and I during all stages of life.. But as I watch what is currently going on in the world.. it gives me anxiety.. and worry creeps back in my mind. What if something happens to me? What if something happens to them? The What-if's can go on forever.. and the News reports certainly don't help calm that anxiety.. But.. at the end of the day.. I have to put those thoughts to bed and realize.. whatever happens.. whenever it happens.. Will be God's will for me, and it will be ok.. He will take care of us..and he will not leave us.

Last week.. after the 3rd person recommended it to me.. I decided to pickup "Love and Logic" for Toddlers.. for discipline ideas.. Well.. I've been doing it for over a week now, and man its TOUGH. Mainly on ME..They have audio CD's, and Books..
I think it actually works on the girls quite well.. but the biggest difference is how Jordan & I respond to them when they are acting foolish.. The premise is getting your kids to make good decisions.. because its a GOOD decision.. not because you said so. And giving them plenty of options to want to make good decisions. So instead of just barking orders at them.. I say "Uh oh.. I think there is a nicer way to talk to mommy. If you can't talk to mommy nicely then... XYZ".. Whatever your form of discipline will be.. For Cross, its having to go sit by herself.. that is the worst punishment for her, because it means she's away from me.. and since she wants to be with me all the time, this usually works pretty well. I'll tell her to go sit by herself until she can be happy and fun again.. and then she will come out, and say "I'm happy" and we move on.. Or "Uh Oh.. Mommy doesn't like to hear whining.. You can keep whining, you'll just have to go in the other room because it hurts Mom's ears"... There's no yelling.. No screaming.. No frustration.. So I think its actually been better for me.. Because you know, Parenting is FRUSTRATING.. and they make you want to pull your hair out sometimes! But me saying 'uh oh" is completely out of my character, and it immediately diffuses the situation because I sound so ridiculous! So we'll stick with it, and hopefully get better as we go along. I mean can you even imagine it right now? Me saying "UH OH".. It kills Jordan.. he laughs constantly.. lol.. So I guess thats another motivating factor.

 We have been having a lot of fun lately. A few weeks ago we went to the farm for Mothers day and the girls loved playing with Woody their horse, and Kris, the Donkey.. They loved the Hay-bales, and we loved watching them effortlessly run up and down them.. (Just like I used to do).. We went to a birthday party last week at Gatti Town.. We went Bowling at Redpin.. The Girls LOVE bowling.. Cross asks to go every day now.. We went to the Botanical Gardens and let the girls explore and run.. Then yesterday Leslie wanted the day off, so MJ stayed home with the girls and he and GT took them to the Science Museum! So they have really had a fun few past weeks!

This next week they will get to go back to Western Oklahoma and the farm and visit everyone out there.. MJ and I will put the finishing touches on the Michael Jackson birthday Party.. and then they will have their big Party on the 28th. I think it will be a lot of fun.. and I hope they recognize how awesome their hip mom is by throwing a Michael Jackson 3rd Birthday Party.. lol.. I have a feeling I'll probably always be trying to convince them that I'm pretty cool.. I'm putting a Mix CD in each of the goody bags to keep the dream alive..

The girls have started holding hands lately.. They really seem to love having each other around. They will always have someone to play with.. always have someone to talk to late at night.. always have someone who knows exactly how crazy their parents are.. always have someone to talk to.. always have someone to pray with.. I hope they always love each other like they love each other now.. Because its pretty great to watch.. and it makes me forget about all the times I've had to say "UH OH" this week.. lol.. #twinning

Thursday, April 21, 2016

You can't eat Suckers for Breakfast..

We have been going through the book of Ecclesiastes in my Small group and man its been so good. So many things that God does daily that reminds us he is present..and he is with us.. But I think the hardest thing to Understand about God is the WHY of it all.. I have friends who are non-believers that are always asking the age old question.. "Why does your GOD let bad things happen to GOOD people?".. Or "How could there be a GOD in a world that lets children die, family members die from disease?".. I think the answer to that is we don't know. We don't know what God Knows.. We don't see the Big Picture.. We don't know the end result..

I think the first thing we have to realize is that we walk with God By Faith. Faith that he has a plan for us.. Faith that he knows the ultimate outcome... Faith that he will take care of us.. Faith that he can take bad things and turn them into good.. But we also need to understand that God Doesn't promise "Good" all the time. Your Faith, and your Spirit is formed through trials in your life. Trials that aren't pleasant..they are hard.. Trials that break your heart.. and Trials that teach you lessons.

When I get frustrated with my 3 year old girls.. because they bark orders at me.. or they keep doing the SAME thing over after I have told them not too.. Or when they put HOT food in their mouth after I just TOLD THEM IT WAS HOT.. I think.. Geez.. What does it take for you to learn that lesson? And that makes me wonder how many times God Looks at us.. and says "GEEZ.. what does it take for you to learn to have patience? What does it take for you to learn Humility? What does it take for you to learn Selflessness?".. Again and again.. we screw it up.. daily.. Just like a Toddler.. And Just like the way I keep loving my girls over and over day after day when they screw it up.. My God loves me over and over.. Even when I'm screwing it up. The beauty is.. we are both leaning lessons. Crosslee is learning not to run as fast as she can on the sidewalk, because she will fall and scrape her knee... and I'm learning Patience to teach her right from wrong. I don't let my Child run like a crazy person and fall because I'm a MEAN Mommy.. I let her do it because its a lesson. God doesn't let trials happen in my life because he's a MEAN GOD.. He does it because its a lesson.. A way to grow in my faith.. A way to learn to trust him more.. To have Faith... And Just like Cross, when she falls, she runs into my arms, I hug her, I pat her, I reassure her, and I put a bandaid on her scrape.. Just like God Does for me. The Key is to always keep running back to him.

I am the first to admit that I have an amazing life. I have not had to live with a family member passing suddenly, or a tragedy that shook me to my core. When my Grandma Leona Died at 81 that was one of the hardest times for me. She had Pancreatic Cancer and they gave her 3-6 months to live. She died 6 months later.. But when I think back on that I still see God's hand at work.. She had 6 months to prepare everything.. I had 6 months to show her and tell her how much I loved her before she left us.. We had that time. God gave us that time.

When I lost my radio job, that was by far one of the hardest things I'd ever gone through. I know I'm good at being on the radio. I woke up every day knowing that. I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing EXACTLY what I was born to do. Then without a thought, 1 man could choose to take that away from me with a single business decision. I had to re-learn what I was good at.. Redefine my goals for life. Re-FIND myself. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.. But when I look back (They say you see your faith best in the rear-view Mirror) I see God's hand at work in that situation too.. A listener getting me a job at Chesapeake.. Me Excelling at that job.. Meeting Aubrey McClendon.. Being in IT so my husband and I could talk about something in common, lol.. Having Great bosses that allowed me to Take it easy when I was pregnant with Twins.. Having Great bosses and companies that provided awesome maternity leave and insurance.. Becoming a Mom, and working for companies that celebrated that.. All God's hand.
 We may not see miracles everyday like burning bushes, or walking on water, but when I look back I can always see amazing details in the way God is working in my life. And as I'm raising these girls.. I have to remember, that they are NOT going to have all the answers at age 3. They don't know how to speak properly (They sound more like Dictators at this stage) They don't know why they need to eat green vegetables..Why you should wear coats when its 15 outside.. Why morning doesn't start at 2am.. They don't know why Suckers aren't an option for Breakfast. The things that took us years to understand, we expect them to get immediately.. and that is when I learn that we must be patient and mold them.. and form them.. and shape them.. through trials..and time-outs, and crying fits..and judgement stares.. and jerky comments from other people.. into the people we want them to become.. Just like God does to us.. each and every day..