Monday, February 18, 2019

What all Mama's.. wish Daddies Knew..

Let me start off by saying, I am married to the most amazing man in the world. He was built for me By the Lord, and I'm so glad I waited for him. He's smart, He loves the Lord, He's kind, He's patient, He is handsome, he is a good provider, a good daddy, and he is the perfect calm to my storm.. This is a man who didn't get to take a break when we had a baby.. because we had TWO babies, which meant he always had to take care of a baby as well.. And He has consistently stepped up to the plate. However.. He has told me many times that he is not a mind-reader.. and I keep expecting him to magically turn into one somehow.. 

With that said, marriage is Work. Its hard to meet expectations, and its certainly hard to get anything done when you have kids! Its hard to make time for each other, your kids, your activities, your church family, your extended family, and yourself.. Most of the time our spouse is who gets whats leftover from a day of hard work.. taking care of the kids.. just doing the daily grind, and its sad, because you don't want to give the 'left-overs' to your spouse when they are so important to your life! But.. This is a hard stage of life, and sometimes that is what happens, so we are going to need to Lean on the Lord during these times.  Ladies don't forget to pray for your husbands.. Husbands don't forget to pray for your wives, and both of you.. Pray for your kids! Pray for Wisdom, discernment, and for sure Patience.. because we will all need it! 

I was diagnosed with Flu A last week, and as a result.. (as frequently happens when Mom is sick) the responsibility of the kiddos has to move to dad.. because mom is now a nest of germy, try-to-avoid-like-the-plague-so-your-kids-don't-get-it-Flu-Mess.. So with that said.. I thought I would try to capture some things that all Moms.. wish Dads Knew..  By the way, this is NOT intended as a Man-Bashing piece.. these are things that Jordan and I have talked about that he wishes I would just SAY.. as opposed to Wishing he would just DO them.. 

  1. For the last X amount of years your kid has been alive.. they still need the same things to leave the house.. Every. Day...Clothes..Shoes.. Coat (if winter) brushed hair.. brushed Teeth.
  2. We know you can't do Girl hair... Like Braids, Pony tails, etc.. But.. Do whatever you can, because that still helps us! Brush the girl hair.. slap the girl hair to the side of their head with a cute bow.. grab a sweet winter hat and throw that on.. All of that is helpful to us when trying to get the kids out the door. 
  3. Please pickup after yourself.. when you make us pickup after YOU and the children it makes us think about ways to physically harm you which is not super for the marriage. It also sets a good example to your children, that everyone needs to pickup after themselves and Mom is not everyone's maid.. 
  4. If you don't know how to do laundry.. or you are unsure about what to wash together.. Grab all the towels and the kids clothes, and wash them on cold. Pretty safe bet, and it helps us with laundry!
  5. If you have girls.. You are one of the most influential men in her life, and she is looking to you on how to be treated by other men, so lift her up.. remind her how smart she is.. how creative she is.. How you love the way she is kind to everyone.. Not just that she is pretty.. Tell her all the reasons you are proud of her. Don't miss out on a chance to praise her because its going to matter to her the rest of her life. 
  6. If you see me picking up stuff, or cleaning the house.. its in your best interest to look busy.. or go outside.. You watching ME clean while you are chillin in your PJ's, or on your Ipad.. again goes back to me wanting to cuss you under my breath.. 
  7. If I've asked you to do something 7 times.. Like.. take out the trash.. Spray the yard.. etc.. and on the 7th day you do it.. please do not ask me to High-five you. There's a good chance by the 7th day I've already done it. If you don't have time, I completely understand that, but it goes a long way if you will say "Hey babe, I can't do that today, but I'll happily tackle it on X day".. but that means you really do have to do it by X day.. 
  8. 90% of the time the moms have to get up and get the kids ready.. take them to school.. pick them back up.. pack lunches etc.. So if you want major brownie points.. Grab your kiddos on a Saturday or Sunday morning and take them to breakfast.. then to the park. .then another place that lets you be away for another hour so your wife can just sleep past 6am.. 
  9. Bigger Bonus--Take them out for an afternoon and tell your wife to go to a coffee shop and enjoy a good book.. or have her plan a night out with her friends to go grab dinner and tell her friends how freakin awesome you are for watching the kids right now! 
  10. Never miss a chance to brag on your wife. There's a good portion of the time that we do NOT feel pretty.. We do not feel romantic.. and we don't feel like we are doing a great job at life.. Tell her she is.. Your words to her let her know you still think she's pretty and she's killing it as a mom. 
  11. If we go through the effort of cooking you a delightful meal (even if we threw it together, but still made the effort).. PLEASE help us clean the kitchen. Don't make us tell you to do it, if you see us doing it.. just come on over, and jump on in.. PLEASE. 
  12. I'm a working mom.. Which means I work all day just like you do, and when I get home, I'd also like to sit in my chair and do nothing.. but I can't.. there are still a million things that have to be done to get supper ready, baths taken, bed clothes on, kiddos tucked in.. so anytime you can help me with those things, Is SUPER appreciated. 
  13. If I'm sick, or can't pick up the kids.. cook supper.. give baths, etc.. and you Do it for ONE day.. Please don't expect accolades from me. Remember I do these things each day, and while I really do appreciate you subbing in for me, as opposed to telling me how awesome you are for doing it, how about saying "Man.. after doing what you do all day.. I realized, it sucks! High five mama! You are killing it" 
  14. If I'm tired at the end of the day.. from doing all the things.. Don't expect me to jump you at night...unless you've also done some of the things that would help me have enough energy for jumping you.. See This Book...  From Dr Kevin Leman.. 
  15. Our Marriage is the most important thing to our family. So its up to us to treat it as such. Remind me that  we need a date night, or some time to ourselves or a little extra grace when we get home.. Hug me and kiss me in front of our kids. We are setting the example of what marriage commitment looks like, so lets give it our best! 
And with that said.. Ladies, you also need to thank your man.. and respect your Man. I recommend something like this taped to his windshield before he leaves for the day..

"I know I probably don't thank you enough for being a good provider, and for taking care of us, but I want you to know I appreciate you. I am very aware that sometimes I'm hard to deal with, and I thank you for being able to love me on days that I'm unlovable. There's not a day that I wouldn't choose you all over again, and there's not a day that I am not glad I'm going through this mess called Life with you! 

Together.. With the help of the Lord, WE can do this!!!