Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Man. Sometimes being a working mom is hard. Especially a working mom with several jobs. Now Granted.. I did part of that to myself, but its still hard. I've run out of hours in the day.. some days I have great success filling all of the hours with meaningful, magical time.. Some days I don't. Some days I feel like I'm winning at being a Wife, Mom, and Employee.. Some days I'm not.
This week is Vacation Bible School, and Vacation bible School at Crossings Is LEGIT. I mean they have full size bounce houses INSIDE the church.. Amazing singers that teach them fun songs.. ITs LEGIT. I waited till the girls were old enough to go with excitement because each year we'd watch the videos and think "Oh man, that is so amazing" so they got to go for the first time last year, and I wanted them to get to go this year.. but this creates a few issues for the working mom.. For one, I go into work at 7am.. Bible School starts at 9, so I either have to wait till 9, then take them.. Or Go to work for 2 hours, send them to their school.. then go back and pick them up and take them to VBS.. Then they get out at 12.. So then I have to leave work..get them lunch.. and pick them up, then take them back to school.. and take myself back to work.. Its hard, but its worth it, because they love going, so we'll make it work.. just like we do everything else.. but being a working mom is hard.
However.. I know being a stay at home mom is hard too..and that is a job I'm just not able to do. I admire those that do it, and I'm in awe of their patience and tolerance! I've always just known that I wanted to be a working mom. Would I love to have a job that allowed me to do both? Sure.. Or only work a few days a week? FOR SURE.. Have endless amounts of money? Um, yes please.. But that is not God's plan for me.. and thats ok. My plan is not anyone else's plan. My plan is for me.
I want my girls to know why I work hard.. What I'm passionate about. What I'm good at.. Why I try to do better.. Why I went back on the radio to do something I love even though it requires more of me! I used to feel bad because I was not the kind of mom that said things like "I never lived until I had children" "My children are my World".. Yeah.. I've lived.. My college experience alone was legit.. lol And don't even get me started on some of the amazing times I've had on the radio!
I've had a pretty incredible life. My kids are incredible, but I'm a child of God, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, and I'm a mother.. My kids are super important to me, but they do not define me, and I do not make them the Center of My universe. I want them to understand that we answer to someone bigger.. I want them to understand we all have to do crap we don't want to do.. we have to get along with people that aren't worth getting along with.. That I love their daddy and its important that we have time together by ourselves.. That We have to fall down and get back up.. That sometimes the world is Mean and Unfair.. We have to be disciples.. we have to be warriors.. we have to be supporters.. We have to be sympathetic, understanding, caring, and Kind..Even to people who don't deserve that.. And If I make them the center of the universe, do everything for them, Shelter them from everything scary, and move all obstacles out of their way, they are not going to learn that. Those are hard lessons to learn.. but I'm going to help them, and the Lord is going to help me through it all. But.......Its still hard.
IN a society of Busy.. I realize.. I'm busy.. I'm working two jobs, and I don't get to do a lot of things I need/Want to do.. For example, right now I'm neglecting my work as a Hospice Volunteer with my therapy dogs.. I just don't have the time to get to the nursing homes right now.. but I want to. I'm supposed to be taking Payslee & Sawyer on monthly visits to the Assisted Living Center.. but I feel like I run out of time. I'm leading a small group at church, but I am not able to research the lessons for us, because I run out of time! These are GREAT things to do! And I want to do them! But dang.. I just don't have the time right now, and....... I'm TIRED!!! lol.. Tired as a Mother is a real thing..
I've had to really look at my life lately and decide What my Big Priorities are.. So as a result I've had to cut down on going to a lot of social events at church.. therapy visits.. hospice visits.. even though they are all important to me.. I just can't get to them right now, and you know what? Thats ok. Because eventually I'll get back to them.. But its hard to say no to them..
So whatever phase of life you are in.. busy.. not busy.. working.. not working.. momming, not momming.. Realize.. that Your plan is for you. Not anyone else.. Don't let others make you feel bad because you are not doing 'the norm' or filling a status.. God has a plan for me, and for my girls, and I'm excited to watch it unfold. I can't believe they are Five! Seems crazy.. its like some days stood still, and some days flew by in the blink of an eye.. Being a parent is hard.. Being a wife is hard.. and sometimes following God's plan is hard.. But we have to remember that through trials comes Grace, and while those little eyes are watching us, we can show them what it means to walk to the beat of our OWN Drum.. the Drum God created just for us.. not anyone else.. And I'm probably going to screw it up some days.. Because I run out of patience.. and time.. But all I can do is start over the next day and try again.. because as we all know, I'm not quitter.. and I hate losing..except for Weight.. and I've lost 65 pounds.. so Boom.. there's that.