Michael Jackson Party Fun

Well I pulled off another fantastic Party this year for the girls. The theme was "This is IT--The Crosslee & Londyn 3rd birthday Tour" with Michael Jackson. It was pretty fantastic.. from an adult standpoint. I have no idea if anyone else "got" most of the little things I did.. but for me, it was awesome..

Now, some were saying..."Why would you have a Michael Jackson party.. the girls are too young to even know about him".. Not true. My girls have been Jackson fans pretty much since birth. He used to be the only thing that could make Cross quit crying..and it would instantly make her smile when she heard his songs.. I left the house yesterday morning with both of the girls wearing a sparkle Fedora, Glitter Gloves, and listening to Beat it.. So the music is strong with those two..and Michael Jackson. In fact Cross is in a phase right now where all she wants to do is sing 'Beat it'.. it used to be "Smooth Criminal".. but we have moved past that one, and onto Beat it full time now..

Here's some party pics.

As you can see.. I customized at TON of stuff.. So much so, That I've decided to start planning parties for people.. So if you ever need that service, and want to throw parties that are as ridiculous as mine, hit me up. I even created a facebook page for it.. And gave it a name "Pocket full of Funshine"  Feel free to go like it, and make me feel loved. 

I had custom Shirts made for the girls, they wore their glitter sparkle pants..and they also had Fedora's and Glitter Gloves.. with Glitter Shoes. We had Signs for every snack.. Like 

"Blame it on the Cookies"==Blame it on the Boogie

"Bille Cheese is not just Cheddar"==Billie Jean

"Don't Stop till you Get a Puff"==Don't Stop till you Get Enough

"Smooth Criminal Punch" "Off the Wall Fruit"... all of which had a Pic of Michael, and were lined with Glitter.. We had a Michael Jackson Cake, complete with Microphone Cake Pops (Made by Chubby Cheeks Cake Love) In each of the goody bags for the kids, I put Aviators, Inflated Microphones, Customized Michael Jackson Mix Tapes, Bubbles, (With Bubbles the chimp on them) Microphone Bubbles, Customized Black Hershey's kisses with Birthday Stickers on the bottom, King of POPCORN bags of Popcorn. I mean it goes on and on.. it was ridiculous..and over the top.. Pretty much like everything I do! 

But it was at the playground, perfect weather.. All the grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins, and Friends were there! It was an awesome time. When Cross got there she went and looked at everything and said "Mommy.. its just gorgeous!".. She's started using the word Gorgeous, and delicious quite a bit.. "Mommy, Can I have a delicious piece of candy?" She's a mess.. But they all had a good time. We are truly blessed to have such awesome people around our girls that love and care about them! 

Jordan & I started our LOVE and LOGIC class last night at Crossings.. its SO GOOD. We are really enjoying it.. its so freeing as a parent to have a guide, to know what to do, and to be prepared. We love it! And.. we will need it.. We started Potty training last week.. We need all the help we can get.. lol 

Tis The Season.. to choke on Holiday Spirit..

Well.. Christmas has been entertaining to say the least.. Where do I start..

Well lets begin at my company Christmas Party.. Each Year the Loves family does an amazing party lunch for the employees. Its a lot of fun, great food, and a good time to visit with your co-workers.. Which is exactly what I was doing... Until... I put that delicious last morsel of steak into my mouth.. Cooked to Perfection.. just delightful.. So delightful it wanted to stay in my throat.. Yup, it was Biscuit-gate 2.0.

I tried water.. Tried Swallowing several times.. Nope. Not happening. Ironically my co-worker, Lovero, who was sitting with me during the first Biscuit-gate 1 incident was also at my table this time..  So he says "Oh No! Not again!!".. I'm also sitting with both of my Bosses.. One of them, Casey, looks at me.. "Whats going on?"---
Lovero, "its ok, she chokes a lot".. lol..
Me--Yeah, this seems to keep happening..things just get stuck in my throat..
Casey: Are you ok?
Me--I will be.. I'll be right back..

So then I have to go into the bathroom and silent gag (because this is a big place and there are a lot of people) and cough up the dang steak.. It works. I go back..  All is well.. but after this day, I called, made the appointment to get 'scoped' in the throat, and see if they can 'blow it up' to be back to normal.. When I went to the Dr, he said its most likely a stricture in my esophagus, or that it has narrowed.. either way, they go in with a scope and blow it back up.. I'm sedated. and my throat is numb.. so hopefully this will be an easy procedure and fix the issue..   So there's that..

 After that Christmas went pretty smoothly. Pa &  Gigi kept the girls for a few days at the farm so MJ and I could build train sets, wrap presents, and fill stockings.. Cross has loved her Elf on the Shelf.. Eliza.. She doesn't really do anything. We broke all the rules and let her carry her around. She basically just "hid" treasures for Cross.. She loved her. She's still asking about her now.. I told her she went to take a nap.. Like the Giant, the Bloody Clown from the Neighbors house, and Santa.. (Hey, you do what you gotta do).. Gigi & Pa took the Girls to the Park in Elk City to "ride the ponies"and see the lights. They had a blast. I'm pretty sure they would live there and never miss Jordan and I.. At one point mom said "Cross likes to take off her clothes, wrap up in a soft blanket, have me rub her back and feed her berries"... Um. Yeah. Who DOESN'T"T???

So on the 22 we went to the farm to begin Christmas. We went to my dads on the 23. We had a big time there.. Girls played with Cousin Joe & Ava.. Those 4 are a mess, but they are all so good.. We never saw them.. they just played and ran and raced down the hallways.. We didn't go bother them unless we heard crying, or fighting.. but there wasn't much of that. They all love playing together. We had a great time down there.. Then on Christmas Eve Sant came to Gigi's house! He brought the girls a big 4 wheeler Power Wheels.. However, they were kinda weirded out by it, and didn't really ride it.. I think they will though.. They loved all their goodies. Cross had the best time with her Tea set.. Serving everyone Tea.. Cille loved her magnets.. They both loved their Karoke Machine! Lots of fun things to play with!

Then we went back home on Christmas Eve and to our Christmas Eve Service at Church. Oh man. It was so amazing. I LOVED it.. Its one of my favorite services. They turn out the lights and everyone lights candles to represent the Light of the World coming to us on Christmas Day.. So awesome, and so was the Choir.. They sang my favorite.. Listen in.. GLORIOUS IMPOSSIBLE

Then on Christmas day.. Santa Brought the girls a train set! They were so excited.. Traims! Traims! Thats what Cille says.. They loved it.. They tore it all to hell in about 10 min.. but hey, they loved it.. Cross got a "Monster".. she loves him.. among some other babies.. magnets.. little people.. and everything else known to man. They had a blast. After that we went to GT & Nana's and they got even more stuff! It was a great Christmas.. 

On Saturday Jordan's mom came over for yes.. thats right... another Christmas! We all had a fun time because she brought the girls a tee pee, so they had fun with that.. But then the weather came in that night and pretty much ruined my trees again.. They are still without power at the farm.. And to top it off, we have a Huge earthquake in the night.. Geez Oklahoma Weather.. 

I went back to work on Monday.. I was ready.. 7 days at home All day Er' Day with the girls was plenty.. I've since Hot-glued their train about 10 times.. I'm sure I'll do it 10 more.. But they love it, and I love that they love it. I love that they have great Grandparents who love and spoil them. I love our Church, I love our friends.. It was a very blessed Holiday Season. I want them to stay this size forever because watching things through their eyes is magical.. Every snow flake, every new present, every new tradition is something new and magical for them. I know we won't be able to capture these moments forever, but they are so much fun to watch right now.. We will enjoy it while we can! Hope you guys stayed warm, have power, and had a good Christmas! 

Choking on a Biscuit..

Its been an interesting couple of weeks around here.. 

First off, I ate a biscuit from Popeyes.. Which I love by the way.. but it somehow managed to get lodged in my throat..Not enough to choke me, but enough to make it painful to try to get anything else down.. like Water.. or other food.. And it made it hard to swallow, but I could still breathe.. This is all happening at work. It was pretty ridiculous. It got so bad that I thought I would try to go into the bathroom and throw it up.. Didn't work.. So I came back out, tried to swallow some water.. Didn't' work.. It was still lodged there.. So my co-workers are looking at me like I'm crazy..and about to die. My eyes are watering now.. And of course I'm psyching myself out thinking I'm going to die because my throat is going to close up..  This is obviously not true, because I can still breathe.. So finally Deana, My fabulous co-worker comes in and says..

"Listen.. This happened to me at Golden Coral once with a piece of steak.. It was just sitting in my throat.. and it wouldn't get out.. I couldn't swallow it.. So I had to go throw it up. You gotta do it.. You gotta just go in there, put your hands down your throat, and throw up that biscuit.. So go ahead, and take your sunglasses off.. Take off your necklace.. and get in there!"

Well I took her advice..and did this.. It worked. But the moral of this story is: Chew your food, or you look like a weirdo with a biscuit lodged in your throat thinking you are dying and can't breathe at work. I mean really.. who does this.. geez. 

We've had our house on the market for a few weeks and its not as bad as I thought it would be keeping it clean. We took so much stuff OUT of the house that its easier to keep it clean now.. but its still hard with Toddlers.. b/c they just want to take everything out and throw it everywhere! We have had some showings, so we'll see what happens. We have found some other houses we like, but we can't really buy anything else until we sell ours.. So we are in a waiting game. I did chase mowers the other day.. Found their truck, chased them down some roads, and begged them to come to the house.. This works.. but remember it puts you at a disadvantage on negotiating price, so I don't recommend it. 

Girls are doing great! Cross is talking so much now. She strings together complete sentences. Its pretty awesome. LL is still working with her speech therapist and doing really good too. She started saying 'hello' and 'here' and 'thank you'.. I honestly think LL can say whatever she wants.. but doesn't. Like the other day she came up to me and asked for "ice".. she had never said that before.. So I honestly think she is just fooling us all.. But she is just doing things on her own time. She loves working with Suzanne, so we will keep doing it. People keep telling us she looks like Shirley Temple.. I mean we can't really be mad about that, since Shirley is like.. the cutest. 

The girls have been swimming this summer.. the love it! They swam at my mom's house and Aunt Lex got them Puddle Jumpers.. They are awesome, and they keep them from drowning.. so bonus. LL is pretty brave in the water.. she will jump off the size, and she swims and swims.. kicks her little legs till we think they are going to fall off! Cross likes someone to be by her, and she likes to float around as opposed to swim..but they both really love being in the water. Cross also loves picking corn.. right out of the field.. and eating it.. right off the stalk.. She loves corn! Both of my girls are such good eaters.. They eat everything! I made cabbage the other day..baked it in the oven with EVOO & Parmesan on it, and they ate it up! They eat squash, green beans, spinach, sweet potatoes, cabbage, carrots.. I swear its because I did Baby Led Weaning..

Everything else has been good.. MJ is still doing good at his job, I still enjoy my job, and we love our Small group and Sunday School Class. There has been some hot topics going on here lately in the news.. Its hard to debate who is right and who is wrong, so I just choose to spend some time in the bible and in prayer with God and pray that he is able to heal all the crazy things that are going on in this world. I'm just proud to have such great people around my girls in family, in small group and in church. The World is a rough place to raise kids right now. I honestly don't see how people keep their marriage together, or their families together without God at the Center.. I'm so thankful for my walk with him daily, and the fact that I married a great man who also walks with the Lord. We can only pray for him to keep us in his hands and watch over us, because its just ugly out there without him folks. 

They just can't get rid of me..

So I've heard comments from a few of you that have heard me back on the radio.. Before you get too excited.. its just on commercials.. But.. It still counts! I'm actually doing spots for All Star Moving. I met those guys when I worked at Chesapeake and he called me a few weeks ago, and I was happy to help. I'm sure the folks at the old radio station were just thrilled with this news.. They just can't seem to get rid of me.. which does cause me to smile just a bit.. PS, if you need movers, seriously, All star is the BEST. Call them. They do it all.. Storage, boxes, moving you, etc.. And they are truly awesome people. 399-3004 or  go online to allstarmovingandstorage.com. 

I still miss the radio business.. I don't think I really miss the Concerts & Events that much.. I just miss being creative everyday. Making people Laugh.. Creating Art in some form. I'm meant to be creative.. and while I love my current job, my boss, and the folks I work with.. it doesn't require me to have a ton of creativity. Although.. I did get to write a new parody song, which you guys know I love to do. I wrote it for our Customer Commitments Challenge.. Its to "We are the Champions" and its awesome. i can say that, because It is.. If there's one thing I know I'm pretty good at, its writing parody songs.. So when the competition is over, I'll post it and you guys can listen. Its about the daily IT life.. its funny.. and true..

I think at the end of the day I just miss making people laugh. I still try to do that as much as I can. In fact I challenged a co-worker the other day to a "Whistle-off".. which reminding me of my radio bit "Stump The Whistler".. He got scared and refused..but it still made me laugh. I miss playing the Accordion and doing those stupid Polka's.. I miss the interaction and everyday life with listeners.. Sure kickin it with George Strait and Garth Brooks was a definite Perk, but that is not really what I miss. I miss making people's days better with a laugh. But... I know, for now, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. God has always taken care of me, and I know he has a plan for my life now, just like he always has..

One of the best things about right now.. is that Crosslee thinks I'm the best thing that's ever happened. I know she won't always feel this way..but she wants to be with me from the second I wake up till the second she goes to bed. Sitting with me, chatting with me, playing with me.. She hugs and kisses me all the time. She loves her daddy too, and she will "Pet" him, lol.. but right now, her mommy is #1. I'm enjoying this time.

 

So We have had a good Summer so far. We got the girls a little pool and they have been little
water worms.. They love going down the slide and sunning. They get in it in their PJs in the am if we don't catch them! They just love being outside. Since it has been raining, they really love splashing in puddles.. its their favorite thing. We are going to the farm this weekend and they will get to ride on their horses..

We are thinking about selling our house.. I say thinking because when I "THINK" about staging a house, and getting rid of 2/3 of my stuff with twin 2 year olds.. it makes me want to punch myself in the face.. But..we are out of room in this one. It would have been fine had we not had twins, but now we are overflowing with toys, and crap.. So we are going to think about doing that.. The task sounds daunting. I mean can you imagine? No. Blargh. Yuck.

We have been having so much fun with our small group. Last night we had a BBQ and we had Six kiddos' running around all 3 and under.. they had a big time. They just run and share drinks, & food.. Pushing each other, hugging each other.. I mean living life as a Toddler is hilarious. Its all about you.. and you have no patience for anyone or anything that doesn't want to make it about you.. I mean learning how to be a human is hard.. They are like little dictators walking around.. but they are all so cute and its awesome for them to have friends to play with all the time. We always have a blast together.

We took the girls to the Jenks Aquarium a few weeks ago. Cross loved it.. and all the "Bish" that she saw.. LL just loved running down the isles.. Thats our life story pretty much. Running and Running! I know I've been given an important job. Probably the hardest one I'll ever do, so I'm going to try to not screw it up. When I look in the faces of my girls I see such curiosity, and happiness.. My only hope is that I can always see that when I look at them. That the fires that burn within them always remain bright, and that they always know they have 2 parents that love them so much and a God that loves them even more. Everyday I pray to NOT screw this up, and on the days that I do, that they forgive me, just like God forgives me. It truly takes a village.. but its a fun village. God is good!

Girls 2nd Birthday Party--Noah's Ark 2 by 2!

Well.. We successfully had the girls 2nd birthday party. I can't believe they are Two already! The first year of their lives felt like it took a long time to get to 1.. but from the first to second it just flew by!

I picked out the theme about 6 months ago.. The girls love animals, and I knew the party was going to be at the Crossings Playground, so we decided on "Noah's Ark, 2 by 2".. because that was of course the cutest and most fitting for the girls. 

I will try to provide info on where everything came from..but I've been collecting it for 6 months, so my apologies if I miss some of it. 

The fabulous Cake came from Chubby Cheeks Bakery in Edmond. It was awesome. She did an Ark "Cake" and then we added the animal Cake Pops to the center of it.. She even made a Noah Cake Pop! It was the CUTEST.. 

The girls wore super cute outfits that we found on Etsy. A Shop called Lillybellasboutique.https://www.etsy.com/shop/LilyBellasBoutique She designed the shirts for us, then Mom found matching pants from Mis Tee V Us. They turned out super cute.. Ironically, I left it to their dad to get them dressed while I went to setup for the party, and he put Cross's Shirt on Londyn.. lol..

Their Chalkboards were one of my favorite things. We found a shop on Etsy who actually put the pictures ON the chalkboards which I think makes them so much more personal.. and cuter.. Her Shop is Called My Three Charms, and she can do just about any Theme. She's super sweet and easy to work with.

The Cute Vinyl Sign came from Oriental Trading too.. they had one we hung on the gate, and they had another one that stabbed into the ground. They were cheap and they do a pretty good job with those..

The Big Ark, Giraffe and Zebra were ordered from Oriental Trading. Now.. these things do not stand up very easily..they are kinda flimsy, so we ended up putting ours up on the fence. Plus is was kinda wet that day, so it was better that they were kept under the Awning. The first Giraffe we ordered had been shot.. (had a hole in him) so we had to send him back, but they were quick to send out another one.. However, they wanted me to send the old one back.. They paid for shipping, but it was a pain in the butt, so just keep that in mind if you order from them.

We ordered Masks for the Ark from Melissa & Doug.. "Put em on, 2 by 2, wearing Masks is what we do!" and had all the kiddos pick one, put it on and take off! They were pretty easy to put together (I pre-assembled before, but if you had older kids this would be a super fun birthday activity to do while they are there). They were awesome. The kids really enjoyed them. 

Those delicious looking Pretzel animals came from another Etsy Shop Called Sparklesbaby that is UH. Maze. ING. She did the pretzel animals, Chocolate Covered rainbow Oreo Cake Pops, and Choclate rainbow drizzled Rice Krispy Treats. They were all so freaking good. She is super easy to work with and ships them in plenty of time. You can store them in the frig.. We are still eating the stuff a week later and its just as delicious. 

 The super Cute Treat Bags came from Jettabees.   These were one of my favorite things at the party because they are soo soo cute, and an awesome little hand-crafted touch. They were also super affordable. She let us pick which 'animals' we wanted for the bags and they were so cute. We used these as the goodie/take-away bags for the kids at the party. We put a LED light Stick in there, (Compete with a sticker of Cross & LL from Sticker you. They make great stickers for anything,a nd we just loved them.) LED bracelet, Hershey's kisses (complete with Cross & LL 2 by 2 stickers stuck on the bottom of each Kiss. Those little cute stickers were from Party Games. They can make them for little candy bars, or whatever you like. Its just a cute little Unique Touch.

We also put a plastic Ark Animal, and some really cute little Noahs' Ark Rubber Duckies. A rainbow Crayon, Rainbow Swirl Lollipops, and on the back of the sacks we had little Thank you Stickers from Treasured Moments. There are literally a million things you can do as little personal touches. Etsy and Pinterest will dominate your mind with these things.. but these are just the ones I chose that didn't require a TON of money or effort. 

I made Butterly Treat Bags from an Idea on Pinterest. I put Rainbow Goldfish in some of them, and then I put assorted fruits in other. They are pretty easy.. Clothes pin, pipe cleaners, googly eyes and hot glue.. Here's the Pinterest Pin.. 

I also got the Cheese brella Idea from Pinterest. These are super easy. You take Babybel cheeses, cut off the tops of them and stab a bendy straw in them. You can also leave some straight. They make super cute cheese treats, and the cheese gives everyone a break from the Sugar rush!  I also made a fruit Umbrella that the kids could munch on.. complete with baby Marsh mellow Clouds. 

I also made Rainbow Bars.. but there was so much other stuff to eat that it wasn't really worth it. I bought Fruity Pebbles and mixed them with Marshmellow cream (Like Rice Krispy Treats) and put them in a pan with sprinkles. 

Now lets talk about the Cookies. OMgosh. If you have not been to 1 Smart Cookie in OKC you are missing out in your life. People look at these cookies and think "There's no way they can be that cute and taste good".. Um, I'm here to tell you that you are WRONG. Those cookies are the best cookies I have ever had. Everyone raved about them and they are so so good. They can make about any shape you want, and I still have the left-over Donkey on my desk.. he's so cute that I can't bring myself to eat him.. yet I know if I bite into him, he will be delicious magic. The struggle is real folks. She did Rainbows, Raindrops and animals for me. Everyone loved them and they are still asking about them now.. 

The Invitations were one of my favorite things too.. We ordered those from Sara Janes Studio and they were adorable. Took no time to assemble and fit in a square envelope. I also could not send out the invitations without the personalized Stamps from Stamps.com 

You can also order the thanks you's for this at the same time.. Which I should have done, but waited till later.. so be smart and order those when you order the invites. 

Plates, Cups, Napkins, etc.. I ordered those from Birthday Direct. They have cute little bundles you can get. I ordered Rainbow Tablecloths, and more napkins and cups from Amazon. They were cheap, so save the money for the cute stuff. 

These were a nice little touch.. "Flood Water". Got a Printable from Etsy, cut them out, and then Put them on mini water bottles with Packing Tape.. that way they wouldn't bleed in ice, or if the bottle sweated. They were cute and I put them in a big bucket on Ice. 

This cute little "Photo Op" came from Shindigz.. Its a Lion, and you put your face in it to take Pics.. however, it was a little Breezy, and once again, if you do this outside, you'll need to make sure you have a place for it to stand up because its kindof a pain. The Kids didn't care that much about it, but a few parents did get some cute pics.. 

So as I'm writing this.. I realize its way more elaborate that I had firs thought.. Because we also got animal balloons from Party City, Cupcakes, Rainbow Twizzlers, Rainbow Gold Fish, and probably a bunch of other crap I can't think of.. But.. if you start hoarding 6 months before the party, it doesn't seem that bad. I do think the little personal touches make the party great.. So I tried to do as many of those as I could without going broke, and going crazy. 

Everyone had a blast, and everyone enjoyed the food.. so yes, While I did go a little crazy, it was totally worth it! Except now I feel like I have some big shoes to fill for next year! Still loved that it was outside at our church.. kids loved running and playing the whole time, and we loved the big Pavilions for shelter and food. It was a great trip on the Ark! 

Mommie Dearest....

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you have just kinda failed at life? I kinda had a WEEK like that last week.. It was a rough week.

On Monday we (MJ and I) went to a funeral.. those are never fun.. The girls had a playdate with a sweet little girl that ended up having Hand/foot/Mouth, so we have been super paranoid that they were going to get sick (so far so good, 6 days later, fingers crossed, and I swear its because I oiled them) and then we tried to go to a fun event at church (Volopulooza), didn't bring the stroller, and ended up chasing the girls across a soccer field.. #Parentfail. Drove the girls to Tulsa to visit MJ's Grandma and to go to the aquarium.. But by the time we had driven up there, visited, ate lunch, and they didn't take naps, they were losing their minds.. So..we didn't get to go to the aquarium. #parentfail. Ran out of Cross's "Juice" (pediasure), Diapers, and Wipes.. #parentfail. So as you can see.. I have had a week in which I just kinda feel like a big fat failure at life..

The girls have had allergies and its just not been easy for them.. Cross makes it much harder because she refuses to take medicine.. LL does too.. so I was thinking.. "Why don't I get those dissolve tabs and then it will be like candy?".. Yes, KC, great idea! So I did this..and it was a hit with Londyn. She loved hers.. so success.. Cross? NO. She spit it out. She knew immediately.. and even though it tasted like Grape Shasta.. she was having no part of it.. I tried to sneak it in gummies, cheese, meat.. Nope. She spit it out every time.. then started questioning the authenticity of the gummy.. Spit it out.. Leslie also tried to give it to her. She looked Leslie square in the face and said "NO" and threw it down.. Sometimes that Kid is too smart for her own good.. Thankfully she will still take the liquid form, so that has been helping with the coughing at night.

I have realized that a lot of things change when you become a parent.. and they should.. Your life is not your own anymore, and the days of doing what YOU want to do are over.. so if you are one of those people thinking you will have a baby and nothing will change.. Think again. It should change, because when you become a parent, you should be thinking of your Kids as the first priority anyway.. but that doesn't make it any easier for your former, selfish self to deal.. Right now Cross is still in the phase of clinging to me. I can't get more than 3 ft away from her or she starts yelling "mama! Mama!" and if I don't' go back (because I'm walking to the bathroom) she lays in the floor sobbing.. I know there will come days when I wish she would WANT me to be around her.. so even though sometimes those moments are trying, I try to just stop and sit with her, because I know the one thing she is really wanting is ME.. Well, and maybe a Popsicle..

With kids comes so many magical moments.. Moments that you would never trade, but there are also crap moments.. Moments in which you feel like you don't get it right.. that they will end up in therapy.. that you could have made a better choice.. that you shouldn't have said that.. that you got dealt a poor hand.. Its hard. There are weeks that you feel like you just don't measure up as a parent.. And there are days when you feel like you just need a break.. but then you feel guilty for feeling you like need a break! Guilt as a mom is huge. I have guilt for not using the words "So in love" with my newborns when they were born. I think the words that I used were like "Scared to death".. But everyone else will have babies and post these heart-felt pictures.. "We just had a baby..and we are so in love".. I was thinking "I just had 2 babies, How will I keep them alive?".. I have guilt that sometimes I just want to sleep till 7:00, or go to 3 movies in one day, Or sit at Barns & Noble by myself...

Its not that I don't enjoy being a mom.. I do.. but I think most people don't realize when you have kids, you are breaking up with your former life. All the things you formerly did, that basically revolved around what YOU want to do have to change. That can make you feel bad, and feel guilty, So its a wake-up call.. I read this.. and it was great.. So enjoy.. and feel less guilt.. and Celebrate your kids.. And realize that even when you screw it up, your kids are still going to love and forgive you.. much like Jesus does.

To The Mom Who Yelled at Her Kids Today (Thanks Brooke!)

I'm going to remind myself of this when Cross kicks me.. because she has diaper rash... and when I try to wipe cream on her.. it ends up on my eyes, my work clothes, and everywhere but..her Butt...And the next time she spits blueberry advil at me... lol.. Gotta love it!!!

An Easter letter to God..

Dear God,

Last night I went to the Maundy Thursday service at church with my family. I felt so proud to gather in my church where my kids are going to grow up. I love watching them run down the hallways and go into their classrooms.. (Sometimes with tears, sometimes without, lol). I sat down with a row of people from my Sunday School class and I just felt so blessed. I know there are people in this world that don't get the freedom that we have to worship together, and I know there are people in this world who have not found a church that loves and embraces them. I'm so grateful to have both those things in my life.

This Easter is my anniversary at Crossings. I remember talking to you many times about finding a church when I moved to Oklahoma City to take a new radio job. I went into so many different churches and they just didn't feel like where I was supposed to be until I walked into Crossings.. And as you know, walking into Crossings can be intimidating, but you gave me the courage to go. The Second I sat foot in the doors I knew I was home. The Biggest reason was the beautiful music I heard coming from an orchestra made of people that volunteer their time and are THAT talented! Blew my mind.. and this Church continues to do that for me every time I walk in.

As Terry was telling the Communion Story I couldn't help but wonder how you were able to do what you did. When he said "God had chosen his Lamb" it gave me chills because when I look at my two babies I can't imagine the heartache you must have felt knowing you had to send your Son to save the world. I don't think I would be strong enough to do that. I can't imagine the hurt you felt when he asked you to take away his pain and to spare him. As a mom, all you want to do is make the lives of your kids great. You never want them to suffer, or be sad, or hurt, or have anyone hurt them.. Yet you sent Jesus to go through all that, and I'm sure it broke your heart. Its emotional, because I know you did it for all your other 'kids'.. me included.

A long time ago I heard a sermon that talked about a woman who had a son with a very special gene. A gene that could heal all sickness, cancers, and diseases in the world. This one boy could save the world from suffering all those painful diseases. But for the boy to be able to save them, he had to die so they could remove those cells that would save others. That sermon moved me because I don't know that we ever look at our kids, or our family and think that we could give them up ever.. Even to save a world from hurt, but that is exactly what you had to do and I'm grateful. I'm grateful that a new covenant has been made even though it was made out of heartbreak.

Friday we went to the Good Friday service. It was a moving example of how much God did for us. I know its important to remember what Jesus had to go through.. his friends betraying him.. people doubting him.. all the physical pain.. all the torment. It wasn't an easy choice for you to make, or for Jesus to live through, and even though Easter weekend is a happy time, I always want the reminder of what you did for us, and what Jesus lived through for us.

This is an emotional weekend. Not only is it my anniversary at Crossings, but its my birthday in Christ. I remember making my own covenant with you after watching an Easter play at the Baptist church in Hobart. I looked up at my dad and asked him to walk with me down the isle to give my life to you. There were tears in his eyes and I knew that that was something he, my grandma Leona, and my mom had been praying for since I was born.

 This time of year I always feel super close to my grandma, even though she has been gone for 16 years. I think I feel close to her because she was always so close to you and nothing pleased her more than when I started my own relationship with you. I'd imagine she's pretty happy now too watching my girls. I hope that with your help I can leave that same example of faith for my girls.

So thank you God. Thank you for all my blessings that I watch every day. Thank you for my church and the amazing joy it brings me every time I walk into it. Thank you for my family and for always knowing Exactly what I need, even when I don't. When I found out I was having twins I really questioned your judgement.. I wasn't even sure about ONE baby, and here you go giving me TWO babies. I questioned whether or not I could even keep them alive! I had never even held a baby before, and now I'd be opening up my arms for two?? I remember having some pretty serious discussions with you about this.. lol.. And asking you "What are you thinking!?".. Even though you are the God of the Universe I still stupidly question your judgement sometimes.. Which I realize as I write this is ignorant.. so My bad on that.. But once again, You were right. When I look at Crosslee I see visions of me as a toddler.. Endlessly Curious, always in a hurry, stubborn, Passionate and Driven.. and I think.. What an Amazing Kid to know!.. But then When I look at Londyn I see a kid that truly savors every moment she lives in.. every bite she takes, every grain of sand that she runs through her hands. She looks at the world with her eyes wide open, just waiting to take it all in. She has the sweetest smile and is so sincere and I think.. What an Amazing Kid to know! I can only imagine this is how you feel when you look at all your kids. Every one different, but every one special. They are beautiful, healthy, special, and built just for me.

So Thank you for always knowing my heart.. for always having my back.. and for knowing what I am capable of, even when I don't. For putting people in my life who are truly great. For giving me the courage to distance myself from those who do not share the same vision for my family. For my husband who you built just for me, and my babies who bring me so much joy. Thank you for forgiving me when I fail you or disappoint you. Thank you for putting me in situations that teach me important lessons, and Thank you for saving me. Your love is truly Great and I'm excited to celebrate it this Easter.
Love you,
KC
PS, Tell my Grandma Leona Hi for me and that I still miss every day.

A little less Action.. and a lot more talk.

So for those of you who have never had the pleasure of taking your kids to their 18 month 'well baby visit'.. here's some knowledge I'm about to drop on you..

Being that I have not had kids before.. I didn't really know what to expect as far as baby 'milestones' are concerned.. I mean I figured they eventually learned to crawl, walk, hold their bottle, talk, etc.. But I didn't really know there were hard limits on when they were supposed to do those things.. Everyone will tell you that there isn't hard limits on these things..BUT.. then when you say that your baby isn't walking by 12 months they will say "Oh really? Little Jimmy walked at 6 months".. Whatever.. Move past those people..

Anyway.. When you go into your 18 month appointment you will get the "Autism Screening".. Now, you may not know this is what this is.. for example, it might just seem like a normal questionnaire in which you are answering basic questions about your tot.. but its not. Its a screener for early signs of Autism. I think this is a fine practice.. I'm not mad at the questionnaire.. I think early detection is awesome, and a great idea.. But I will tell you, when I'm in the pediatrician's office with two HEALTHY babies.. trying to keep them from picking up stale puffs on the floor, running their hands all over germy toys, and trying to keep sick kids from hugging them and sneezing on them.. My mind isn't always in the right place to think about every single thing they are doing developmentally and physically..

So because I'm a dumb mom.. I answer truthfully to the questions.. I'm saying 'truthfully'.. because I did answer them to my knowledge.. but sometimes my knowledge is not that accurate.. I'm a mom of twins. I am sometimes losing my mind..and don't know if I'm coming or going.. So sometimes I have a hard time remembering If Crosslee does this, or Londyn does that.. I'm sure all of you moms and dads realize that if you aren't expecting something to be important, sometimes you don't remember it. So Jordan and I end up answering NO to 3 or 4 questions on the questionnaire.. and boom! Londyn has to go and be evaluated for Autism and learning disorders..

I guess the reason why this is annoying to me.. is because all of this is based on what I say.. Like not on what Londyn actually does.. So I felt like I had failed her.. Mainly because after we got home we realized that she does do a lot of the things we said "NO" too.. but oh well.. Now we have an appointment with Sooner Start for her to be evaluated.. I do think its better to be safe than sorry..its a free program, with really great specialists.. and if she does need help, then I want to help her for SURE.. So we go.. and we realize that you will get dinged if your kid doesn't do the following things by 18 months..

1) Eat with a spoon.. Well my bad on this one. My girls did baby led weaning, so they have always eaten with their hands and have never been spoon fed, so they had no concept..and I had no clue that they were supposed to be doing that. My bad. They know what a spoon is..they know what to do with it.. so I thought I was winning. I wasn't.

2) Take their shoes off.. Um, why would I want her to take her shoes off when I had just put them on?

3) Playing pretend.. Cross has played pretend since early on. Every morning she gets all her animals out and pretends to feed and water them.. But since I had never seen Londyn do that I assumed she wasn't 'pretending'.. Little did I know that pretending can be a lot of things..It can be taking your phone and pretending to talk.. it can be taking the tv remote and pointing it at the TV..So Keep that in mind. Londyn DOES do the remote thing..Again, My bad.


4) Pointing. Pointing is BIG to them.. They don't want them to just touch pictures, they want them to POINT at them.. They want them to POINT at their cups and ask for them. They can't just ask for them.. they must point. POINTY POINTY POINTY.. When we got home, we realized that Londyn also pointed..she points at her Pa in the hallway and says "PA".. but we didn't realize this because we didn't know it was such a big deal. It is.. so watch for them pointing. Woops. My bad.

5) Playing with other kids.. No. LL could care less about this. She's not anti-social.. but she's got better things to do in her mind.. like explore, or read a book, or build with blocks. She likes to go and check on the other kids..and sure, she and Cross chase each other from time to time, but Londyn is fiercely independent and likes to do her OWN thing. I don't think this is a weird thing..I just think she likes to do her own thing for now.

Now.. I will say..Londyn does not, and has not ever said many words.. she chatters all the time.. speaks weird languages we don't understand.. but she only has a few words.. Mainly "Mama, dada, Pa, Oh, Wow, and Hey".. Other than that..she doesn't say that many words. LL is not a demanding child, so she has never really asked for things.. We usually just give her something when Cross is asking for
it b/c we figure she will want it eventually anyway.. But she never throws a fit for treats, a drink, a toy, etc.. She's just a pretty mellow girl, like her daddy.

But either way.. Sooner Start came over.. and they are amazing. Sooner Start is a free program provided by the state for early Intervention.. They are great. Its a great program. They had a speech pathologist and a Physical therapist evaluate Londyn and they did a great job. Londyn is not autistic.. She is extremely independent, and strong willed though.. We found out that Londyn was behind in her speech so they setup a person to come out to the house and work with her whenever we requested. (We decided to do every other week).. A lot of parents would feel threatened by this.. but listen, if someone offers your kiddo free help.. take it. LL has her first session this evening and I'm excited to see how it goes. We agreed on 3 goals for her progress:
1) To learn 25 new words or phrases
2) To engage in group play
3) To complete simple tasks upon request.

We thought those were great goals..and I'm excited to see how it goes this evening..

The moral of the story is.. 1) Don't freak out if your kid has to be evaluated.. 2) Don't freak out if someone offers assistance to help you parent or teach your kid how to learn. I'm smart enough to know I don't know much about parenting.. so if someone smarter and more qualified than me agrees to come help..thats awesome.. and they are coming to my house to help? Even more amazing.. So don't worry too much about things. At this stage they are little people and everyone catches up.. Its hard to learn how to be a little human! So give them a break..they will catch up..

If other parents are telling you how "Advanced" their kids are.. its just to make themselves feel better.. Because I'm pretty sure the other Toddlers aren't judging each other for not knowing their multiplication tables at this age..

Master this.. Do that.. and quit doing this.. Blog

So I came across this post that everyone was pinning on Facebook..and I thought it was pretty good. It talks about 10 Life Lessons to Master in your 30's.. Master is a pretty strong word.. but Here's the list..

1) Start saving money for retirement now, not later..
   Ok, for me, this one was easy.. Why? Because my mom's a stock broker and has drilled this into my head from a young age. Anytime I have been offered a 401k at my job, I've contributed. I usually try to contribute up to what my employer will match.. except for at CHK.. because Big Aubs matched 15%.. which is amazing, but I couldn't do 15% at that time.. but it is important. Saving is also important.. because you never know whats going to happen.. especially when you are a home-owner.. Heat and Air System, giant hospital bills, Car dies.. etc.. So Save. Here were a few other things listed:

• Make it your top priority to pay down all of your debt as soon as possible.
• Keep an “emergency fund”—there were tons of horror stories about people getting financially ruined by health issues, lawsuits, divorces, bad business deals, etc.
• Stash away a portion of every paycheck, preferably into a 401k, an IRA or at the least, a savings account.
• Don’t spend frivolously. Don’t buy a home unless you can afford to get a good mortgage with good rates.
• Don’t invest in anything you don’t understand. Don’t trust stockbrokers.

2) Start taking care of your health now, not later.. (I'm also going to add SKIN to this one too for the ladies)
This one is hard for me.. because I. Hate. Exercise. And when I say exercise, I mean like going to the gym, jogging, lifting weights, that kind of crap. I just hate it.. However, I've found that by having 2 toddlers I don't have to work too hard for exercise. For example, yesterday I earned 6 activity points (I'm currently on weight watchers and wearing an Active sync tracker) by just walking around at work, and chasing the girls.. I can handle that kind of exercise.. So I think its mainly about just moving.. I dance at my desk (My Co-workers love the Milli Vanilli Channel with me) and try to just keep moving.

I think its also hard for us to eat Healthy.. Especially in Oklahoma where Steaks, Chicken FRIED Steak, and fast food are dominant. I love food. My whole family loves food.. we celebrate around food.. and that food does not include tofu, radish burgers, and quinoa.. Sorry. That sucks. Even on Weight Watchers, I don't think I eat "healthy".. I just eat "less" crappy foods. I mean I know that's not a great answer.. but I'm trying to make little changes day by day.. For example, I've started ordering a Bountiful Basket 2 or 3 times a month.. It has a TON of fresh fruit and Vegetables in it.. and then I make Smoothies for us every morning. I have to force MJ to drink them, even though they are delicious..he eats VERY few fruits, vegetables and never drinks water.. So I'm working on him too. The girls, thankfully, are really pretty great at eating a good variety of foods, and healthy foods at that..

I also mentioned skin.. because I think if you wait TOO long to start taking care of your skin.. your skin doesn't forgive you. I've always been pretty good at this.. although my 'regimen' is not that impressive.. I wash my face at night in the bathtub.. take my makeup off with Vaseline.. and usually rub some essential oils on my face at night with Primrose oil, or a Giant tub of Vitamin E Cream from Sams. Its been good to me so far. I think I look pretty good..and I think (for the most part) I look younger than I actually am.. I think its just important to at least put some kind of moisture back into your skin.. It will appreciate it.. Plus you won't look 60 when you are 30. So there you go. You're welcome.

3)  Don't spend time with People who don't treat you well.
Sometimes you just have to step back and realize that you are not going to tolerate people who don't treat you well, or bring joy to your life. If you constantly hang out with negative, miserable people, you will eventually also start to feel negative and miserable..

You want to surround yourself with people that make you better, make you happy, and that love you. Learn how to say NO to people, activities, and obligations that don't bring joy to your life. I know people struggle with boundaries because sometimes its hard to say NO, or you are afraid of hurting someone's feelings.. but if you keep hanging out with people who always hurt your feelings, there's really no payoff. I really liked this quote
         "By our 30's we've learned that good relationships are hard to come by, that there's no shortage of people to meet and friends to be made, and that there is not reason to waste our time with people who don't help us on our life's path"

4) Be Good to the People you care about.
This one had some really good points.. Be the Person others can count on. Be the person others look up to for guidance, help, support, etc. I remember when I found out my grandma Leona had cancer that I wanted to make sure those last 6 months I had with her were completely full of HER. Me just being with her, waiting on her, loving her.. because that is what she had done for me my whole life. And I loved those last 6 months we had together. So now I really try to show the people that are important to me that I love them, I'm there for them, and I support them. I hope I can always be that for my girls. Every night before they go to bed MJ and I pray for them, and we say "If you get scared, sad, or sick, just call us and we'll always be here" and we mean that. Forever. We have friends that are going through tough life circumstances and we always let them know we are here. And even if we don't see them everyday, we'll always be here.

5) You can't have everything, so focus on doing a few things really good.
This was a hard lesson for me in my 30's.. because I did exactly what I loved in my 20's.. and into my 30's.. Radio. When that career was taken from me, I had to accept the fact that I could find appreciation in other things.. Now that is my family, but it took a bit to change that mind-set. But I've also realized I cannot be all things to all people. Sometimes I don't make it to Women's bible study because I'm home with the girls. Sometimes I don't make it to co-worker happy hour, because I have to cook dinner. Sometimes, my house looks like crap because I don't have the will, or want-to to clean it! Such is life. It was hard to take the risk of getting OUT of radio.. getting married.. having babies.. But it was a risk worth taking. I once had a friend tell me that your life is in 3's.. Your Family Life, Your work Life, Your Social Life.. Very rarely do all 3 stack up. Usually one is lacking.. but 2 outta 3... ain't bad... (thank you Meatloaf).. So its a trade off.

6) Don't be afraid of taking risks, You can still change.
I'm not a big risk taker.. Well I say that.. then remember I moved to Corpus Christi for a radio job where I knew nothing and no one.. but USUALLY.. I am not.. I do think one benefit of being in your 30's is you are pretty good at knowing who you are.. what you like.. what you don't.. and what you want to do.. What MJ and I consider a 'risk' is sitting at a different table at Sunday School! But I get what the article is saying.. You have to be ok with change.. you have to be ok with not having all the pieces in place.. Lord knows when I found out I was having twins, we were ROLLING THE DICE and hoping for the best! I had no clue about parenting, parenting twins, babies, feeding babies, keeping babies alive.. etc.. But I read, talked to people, joined groups, and we were just winging it for the first 6 months.. Like most new parents.. But thats ok.. the babies are ok. We all are ok.. So don't be afraid to roll the dice.

7) You must Continue to Grow and Develop Yourself.
I always firmly believe this. I think there is always a 'better' version of me that I can be working on.. A better mom.. a better Christian.. better wife.. a better friend.. I am always working on myself and trying to be better. Trying to be more patient.. trying to show more grace. I feel like you should always try to be better.

8) Nobody (still) knows what they are doing.. get used to it.
I watch people make dumb decisions everyday and think to myself.. man.. we learned nothing there did we? But no.. the answer is you cannot convince people to do the right thing.. you cannot convince others to be better.. You cannot convince someone to make better choices.. So just do what you can do.. offer help when you can.. and be ok with that. But realize that people around you are going to continue to do stupid stuff and there's going to be nothing you can do about it 98% of the time. People like to make their own mistakes and you just have to let them. I've also learned that not everyone is on the same path. Especially moms.. you will have to listen to moms who think they know everything and try to make you feel like boot if you don't do certain things a certain way.. Its very much like this commercial:

There's always going to be a kid that knows more than yours.. says more than yours.. has cuter clothes than yours.. Was breastfed till they were 6.. Potty trained at 9 months.. So just get ready for it..And realize that they are probably full of it.. and then look at your own kid, watch their face light up, and pat yourself on the back for being awesome.


9) Invest in your Family.. Its worth it. 
I've realized the funny thing about having kids.. is that my parents want to see the kids all the time.. but they also still want to see me.. Sure, they like seeing the girls MORE.. but they do still like seeing me.. I do miss doing things "just with my mom" because now that I have the girls we both want to take them with us.. But having kids changes the relationship with your parents.. but in a good way.. so still spend time with your parents. Plus, you are past the point of thinking your parents are fool, and realize that they have pretty good sense about stuff.. so now is the time to pick their brains about things you've always wanted to know. One of the other really cool things about having kids is watching your own parents LOVE your kids.. form relationships with them.. say their name for the first time.. and watch how they both light up when they see each other.

The other cool thing is that now I have my own little family to spend time with.. and I love it. I love our time with the girls, the dogs, and just us.. We can get excited about the "Seek a Boo" game.. or a silly puzzle.. Play Dough is also huge right now. But its fun to just go home, and be with my family. Every day its something new with the girls.. (Yesterday Cross was Bokking like a chicken) and I don't want to miss any of those moments. I also really love my husband and going home to him.. So I enjoy the lame-ness of my little family life.

10) Be Kind to yourself.. Respect Yourself.. 
I also add Forgiving yourself to this one.. yeah, I'm not a stay at home mom.. yeah I don't weigh 100lbs.. yeah I didn't get married till later.. Yeah, my kids eat Cheetos sometimes.. Forgive yourself. Don't Sweat the small stuff.. or.. Don't sweat the Petty stuff, and don't pet the Sweaty Stuff.. lol.. Either way. Its all going to work out. So don't beat yourself up because all the other kids are saying their ABC's and your kid isn't even talking.. When I look at my girls, they are full of joy, so I know I am doing something right.. None of that is going to matter to you in 50 years, so just enjoy your time and be kind and forgiving to yourself..

Here's the full article if you want to read all the comments, etc.. 

We are headed to the farm this weekend. And we get to meet my new nephew, Luke.. Grant & Jenny's new baby. The girls will get to play with Cousin Ava & Joe.. it will be like a giant circus.. but fun.. I'm excited for the girls to have cousins their age that they can run around and have fun with. Its a special time.

Oh, and if you are looking for a delicious Valentines Idea.. Get One Smart Cookies. I know we are supposed to eat 'better'.. but these are worth the calories, and worth the exercise. Dang good cookies..and they are doing a valentine special.. and they are on groupon. Boom. You're welcome.