Mommie Dearest....

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you have just kinda failed at life? I kinda had a WEEK like that last week.. It was a rough week.

On Monday we (MJ and I) went to a funeral.. those are never fun.. The girls had a playdate with a sweet little girl that ended up having Hand/foot/Mouth, so we have been super paranoid that they were going to get sick (so far so good, 6 days later, fingers crossed, and I swear its because I oiled them) and then we tried to go to a fun event at church (Volopulooza), didn't bring the stroller, and ended up chasing the girls across a soccer field.. #Parentfail. Drove the girls to Tulsa to visit MJ's Grandma and to go to the aquarium.. But by the time we had driven up there, visited, ate lunch, and they didn't take naps, they were losing their minds.. So..we didn't get to go to the aquarium. #parentfail. Ran out of Cross's "Juice" (pediasure), Diapers, and Wipes.. #parentfail. So as you can see.. I have had a week in which I just kinda feel like a big fat failure at life..

The girls have had allergies and its just not been easy for them.. Cross makes it much harder because she refuses to take medicine.. LL does too.. so I was thinking.. "Why don't I get those dissolve tabs and then it will be like candy?".. Yes, KC, great idea! So I did this..and it was a hit with Londyn. She loved hers.. so success.. Cross? NO. She spit it out. She knew immediately.. and even though it tasted like Grape Shasta.. she was having no part of it.. I tried to sneak it in gummies, cheese, meat.. Nope. She spit it out every time.. then started questioning the authenticity of the gummy.. Spit it out.. Leslie also tried to give it to her. She looked Leslie square in the face and said "NO" and threw it down.. Sometimes that Kid is too smart for her own good.. Thankfully she will still take the liquid form, so that has been helping with the coughing at night.

I have realized that a lot of things change when you become a parent.. and they should.. Your life is not your own anymore, and the days of doing what YOU want to do are over.. so if you are one of those people thinking you will have a baby and nothing will change.. Think again. It should change, because when you become a parent, you should be thinking of your Kids as the first priority anyway.. but that doesn't make it any easier for your former, selfish self to deal.. Right now Cross is still in the phase of clinging to me. I can't get more than 3 ft away from her or she starts yelling "mama! Mama!" and if I don't' go back (because I'm walking to the bathroom) she lays in the floor sobbing.. I know there will come days when I wish she would WANT me to be around her.. so even though sometimes those moments are trying, I try to just stop and sit with her, because I know the one thing she is really wanting is ME.. Well, and maybe a Popsicle..

With kids comes so many magical moments.. Moments that you would never trade, but there are also crap moments.. Moments in which you feel like you don't get it right.. that they will end up in therapy.. that you could have made a better choice.. that you shouldn't have said that.. that you got dealt a poor hand.. Its hard. There are weeks that you feel like you just don't measure up as a parent.. And there are days when you feel like you just need a break.. but then you feel guilty for feeling you like need a break! Guilt as a mom is huge. I have guilt for not using the words "So in love" with my newborns when they were born. I think the words that I used were like "Scared to death".. But everyone else will have babies and post these heart-felt pictures.. "We just had a baby..and we are so in love".. I was thinking "I just had 2 babies, How will I keep them alive?".. I have guilt that sometimes I just want to sleep till 7:00, or go to 3 movies in one day, Or sit at Barns & Noble by myself...

Its not that I don't enjoy being a mom.. I do.. but I think most people don't realize when you have kids, you are breaking up with your former life. All the things you formerly did, that basically revolved around what YOU want to do have to change. That can make you feel bad, and feel guilty, So its a wake-up call.. I read this.. and it was great.. So enjoy.. and feel less guilt.. and Celebrate your kids.. And realize that even when you screw it up, your kids are still going to love and forgive you.. much like Jesus does.

To The Mom Who Yelled at Her Kids Today (Thanks Brooke!)

I'm going to remind myself of this when Cross kicks me.. because she has diaper rash... and when I try to wipe cream on her.. it ends up on my eyes, my work clothes, and everywhere but..her Butt...And the next time she spits blueberry advil at me... lol.. Gotta love it!!!

A little less Action.. and a lot more talk.

So for those of you who have never had the pleasure of taking your kids to their 18 month 'well baby visit'.. here's some knowledge I'm about to drop on you..

Being that I have not had kids before.. I didn't really know what to expect as far as baby 'milestones' are concerned.. I mean I figured they eventually learned to crawl, walk, hold their bottle, talk, etc.. But I didn't really know there were hard limits on when they were supposed to do those things.. Everyone will tell you that there isn't hard limits on these things..BUT.. then when you say that your baby isn't walking by 12 months they will say "Oh really? Little Jimmy walked at 6 months".. Whatever.. Move past those people..

Anyway.. When you go into your 18 month appointment you will get the "Autism Screening".. Now, you may not know this is what this is.. for example, it might just seem like a normal questionnaire in which you are answering basic questions about your tot.. but its not. Its a screener for early signs of Autism. I think this is a fine practice.. I'm not mad at the questionnaire.. I think early detection is awesome, and a great idea.. But I will tell you, when I'm in the pediatrician's office with two HEALTHY babies.. trying to keep them from picking up stale puffs on the floor, running their hands all over germy toys, and trying to keep sick kids from hugging them and sneezing on them.. My mind isn't always in the right place to think about every single thing they are doing developmentally and physically..

So because I'm a dumb mom.. I answer truthfully to the questions.. I'm saying 'truthfully'.. because I did answer them to my knowledge.. but sometimes my knowledge is not that accurate.. I'm a mom of twins. I am sometimes losing my mind..and don't know if I'm coming or going.. So sometimes I have a hard time remembering If Crosslee does this, or Londyn does that.. I'm sure all of you moms and dads realize that if you aren't expecting something to be important, sometimes you don't remember it. So Jordan and I end up answering NO to 3 or 4 questions on the questionnaire.. and boom! Londyn has to go and be evaluated for Autism and learning disorders..

I guess the reason why this is annoying to me.. is because all of this is based on what I say.. Like not on what Londyn actually does.. So I felt like I had failed her.. Mainly because after we got home we realized that she does do a lot of the things we said "NO" too.. but oh well.. Now we have an appointment with Sooner Start for her to be evaluated.. I do think its better to be safe than sorry..its a free program, with really great specialists.. and if she does need help, then I want to help her for SURE.. So we go.. and we realize that you will get dinged if your kid doesn't do the following things by 18 months..

1) Eat with a spoon.. Well my bad on this one. My girls did baby led weaning, so they have always eaten with their hands and have never been spoon fed, so they had no concept..and I had no clue that they were supposed to be doing that. My bad. They know what a spoon is..they know what to do with it.. so I thought I was winning. I wasn't.

2) Take their shoes off.. Um, why would I want her to take her shoes off when I had just put them on?

3) Playing pretend.. Cross has played pretend since early on. Every morning she gets all her animals out and pretends to feed and water them.. But since I had never seen Londyn do that I assumed she wasn't 'pretending'.. Little did I know that pretending can be a lot of things..It can be taking your phone and pretending to talk.. it can be taking the tv remote and pointing it at the TV..So Keep that in mind. Londyn DOES do the remote thing..Again, My bad.


4) Pointing. Pointing is BIG to them.. They don't want them to just touch pictures, they want them to POINT at them.. They want them to POINT at their cups and ask for them. They can't just ask for them.. they must point. POINTY POINTY POINTY.. When we got home, we realized that Londyn also pointed..she points at her Pa in the hallway and says "PA".. but we didn't realize this because we didn't know it was such a big deal. It is.. so watch for them pointing. Woops. My bad.

5) Playing with other kids.. No. LL could care less about this. She's not anti-social.. but she's got better things to do in her mind.. like explore, or read a book, or build with blocks. She likes to go and check on the other kids..and sure, she and Cross chase each other from time to time, but Londyn is fiercely independent and likes to do her OWN thing. I don't think this is a weird thing..I just think she likes to do her own thing for now.

Now.. I will say..Londyn does not, and has not ever said many words.. she chatters all the time.. speaks weird languages we don't understand.. but she only has a few words.. Mainly "Mama, dada, Pa, Oh, Wow, and Hey".. Other than that..she doesn't say that many words. LL is not a demanding child, so she has never really asked for things.. We usually just give her something when Cross is asking for
it b/c we figure she will want it eventually anyway.. But she never throws a fit for treats, a drink, a toy, etc.. She's just a pretty mellow girl, like her daddy.

But either way.. Sooner Start came over.. and they are amazing. Sooner Start is a free program provided by the state for early Intervention.. They are great. Its a great program. They had a speech pathologist and a Physical therapist evaluate Londyn and they did a great job. Londyn is not autistic.. She is extremely independent, and strong willed though.. We found out that Londyn was behind in her speech so they setup a person to come out to the house and work with her whenever we requested. (We decided to do every other week).. A lot of parents would feel threatened by this.. but listen, if someone offers your kiddo free help.. take it. LL has her first session this evening and I'm excited to see how it goes. We agreed on 3 goals for her progress:
1) To learn 25 new words or phrases
2) To engage in group play
3) To complete simple tasks upon request.

We thought those were great goals..and I'm excited to see how it goes this evening..

The moral of the story is.. 1) Don't freak out if your kid has to be evaluated.. 2) Don't freak out if someone offers assistance to help you parent or teach your kid how to learn. I'm smart enough to know I don't know much about parenting.. so if someone smarter and more qualified than me agrees to come help..thats awesome.. and they are coming to my house to help? Even more amazing.. So don't worry too much about things. At this stage they are little people and everyone catches up.. Its hard to learn how to be a little human! So give them a break..they will catch up..

If other parents are telling you how "Advanced" their kids are.. its just to make themselves feel better.. Because I'm pretty sure the other Toddlers aren't judging each other for not knowing their multiplication tables at this age..

Master this.. Do that.. and quit doing this.. Blog

So I came across this post that everyone was pinning on Facebook..and I thought it was pretty good. It talks about 10 Life Lessons to Master in your 30's.. Master is a pretty strong word.. but Here's the list..

1) Start saving money for retirement now, not later..
   Ok, for me, this one was easy.. Why? Because my mom's a stock broker and has drilled this into my head from a young age. Anytime I have been offered a 401k at my job, I've contributed. I usually try to contribute up to what my employer will match.. except for at CHK.. because Big Aubs matched 15%.. which is amazing, but I couldn't do 15% at that time.. but it is important. Saving is also important.. because you never know whats going to happen.. especially when you are a home-owner.. Heat and Air System, giant hospital bills, Car dies.. etc.. So Save. Here were a few other things listed:

• Make it your top priority to pay down all of your debt as soon as possible.
• Keep an “emergency fund”—there were tons of horror stories about people getting financially ruined by health issues, lawsuits, divorces, bad business deals, etc.
• Stash away a portion of every paycheck, preferably into a 401k, an IRA or at the least, a savings account.
• Don’t spend frivolously. Don’t buy a home unless you can afford to get a good mortgage with good rates.
• Don’t invest in anything you don’t understand. Don’t trust stockbrokers.

2) Start taking care of your health now, not later.. (I'm also going to add SKIN to this one too for the ladies)
This one is hard for me.. because I. Hate. Exercise. And when I say exercise, I mean like going to the gym, jogging, lifting weights, that kind of crap. I just hate it.. However, I've found that by having 2 toddlers I don't have to work too hard for exercise. For example, yesterday I earned 6 activity points (I'm currently on weight watchers and wearing an Active sync tracker) by just walking around at work, and chasing the girls.. I can handle that kind of exercise.. So I think its mainly about just moving.. I dance at my desk (My Co-workers love the Milli Vanilli Channel with me) and try to just keep moving.

I think its also hard for us to eat Healthy.. Especially in Oklahoma where Steaks, Chicken FRIED Steak, and fast food are dominant. I love food. My whole family loves food.. we celebrate around food.. and that food does not include tofu, radish burgers, and quinoa.. Sorry. That sucks. Even on Weight Watchers, I don't think I eat "healthy".. I just eat "less" crappy foods. I mean I know that's not a great answer.. but I'm trying to make little changes day by day.. For example, I've started ordering a Bountiful Basket 2 or 3 times a month.. It has a TON of fresh fruit and Vegetables in it.. and then I make Smoothies for us every morning. I have to force MJ to drink them, even though they are delicious..he eats VERY few fruits, vegetables and never drinks water.. So I'm working on him too. The girls, thankfully, are really pretty great at eating a good variety of foods, and healthy foods at that..

I also mentioned skin.. because I think if you wait TOO long to start taking care of your skin.. your skin doesn't forgive you. I've always been pretty good at this.. although my 'regimen' is not that impressive.. I wash my face at night in the bathtub.. take my makeup off with Vaseline.. and usually rub some essential oils on my face at night with Primrose oil, or a Giant tub of Vitamin E Cream from Sams. Its been good to me so far. I think I look pretty good..and I think (for the most part) I look younger than I actually am.. I think its just important to at least put some kind of moisture back into your skin.. It will appreciate it.. Plus you won't look 60 when you are 30. So there you go. You're welcome.

3)  Don't spend time with People who don't treat you well.
Sometimes you just have to step back and realize that you are not going to tolerate people who don't treat you well, or bring joy to your life. If you constantly hang out with negative, miserable people, you will eventually also start to feel negative and miserable..

You want to surround yourself with people that make you better, make you happy, and that love you. Learn how to say NO to people, activities, and obligations that don't bring joy to your life. I know people struggle with boundaries because sometimes its hard to say NO, or you are afraid of hurting someone's feelings.. but if you keep hanging out with people who always hurt your feelings, there's really no payoff. I really liked this quote
         "By our 30's we've learned that good relationships are hard to come by, that there's no shortage of people to meet and friends to be made, and that there is not reason to waste our time with people who don't help us on our life's path"

4) Be Good to the People you care about.
This one had some really good points.. Be the Person others can count on. Be the person others look up to for guidance, help, support, etc. I remember when I found out my grandma Leona had cancer that I wanted to make sure those last 6 months I had with her were completely full of HER. Me just being with her, waiting on her, loving her.. because that is what she had done for me my whole life. And I loved those last 6 months we had together. So now I really try to show the people that are important to me that I love them, I'm there for them, and I support them. I hope I can always be that for my girls. Every night before they go to bed MJ and I pray for them, and we say "If you get scared, sad, or sick, just call us and we'll always be here" and we mean that. Forever. We have friends that are going through tough life circumstances and we always let them know we are here. And even if we don't see them everyday, we'll always be here.

5) You can't have everything, so focus on doing a few things really good.
This was a hard lesson for me in my 30's.. because I did exactly what I loved in my 20's.. and into my 30's.. Radio. When that career was taken from me, I had to accept the fact that I could find appreciation in other things.. Now that is my family, but it took a bit to change that mind-set. But I've also realized I cannot be all things to all people. Sometimes I don't make it to Women's bible study because I'm home with the girls. Sometimes I don't make it to co-worker happy hour, because I have to cook dinner. Sometimes, my house looks like crap because I don't have the will, or want-to to clean it! Such is life. It was hard to take the risk of getting OUT of radio.. getting married.. having babies.. But it was a risk worth taking. I once had a friend tell me that your life is in 3's.. Your Family Life, Your work Life, Your Social Life.. Very rarely do all 3 stack up. Usually one is lacking.. but 2 outta 3... ain't bad... (thank you Meatloaf).. So its a trade off.

6) Don't be afraid of taking risks, You can still change.
I'm not a big risk taker.. Well I say that.. then remember I moved to Corpus Christi for a radio job where I knew nothing and no one.. but USUALLY.. I am not.. I do think one benefit of being in your 30's is you are pretty good at knowing who you are.. what you like.. what you don't.. and what you want to do.. What MJ and I consider a 'risk' is sitting at a different table at Sunday School! But I get what the article is saying.. You have to be ok with change.. you have to be ok with not having all the pieces in place.. Lord knows when I found out I was having twins, we were ROLLING THE DICE and hoping for the best! I had no clue about parenting, parenting twins, babies, feeding babies, keeping babies alive.. etc.. But I read, talked to people, joined groups, and we were just winging it for the first 6 months.. Like most new parents.. But thats ok.. the babies are ok. We all are ok.. So don't be afraid to roll the dice.

7) You must Continue to Grow and Develop Yourself.
I always firmly believe this. I think there is always a 'better' version of me that I can be working on.. A better mom.. a better Christian.. better wife.. a better friend.. I am always working on myself and trying to be better. Trying to be more patient.. trying to show more grace. I feel like you should always try to be better.

8) Nobody (still) knows what they are doing.. get used to it.
I watch people make dumb decisions everyday and think to myself.. man.. we learned nothing there did we? But no.. the answer is you cannot convince people to do the right thing.. you cannot convince others to be better.. You cannot convince someone to make better choices.. So just do what you can do.. offer help when you can.. and be ok with that. But realize that people around you are going to continue to do stupid stuff and there's going to be nothing you can do about it 98% of the time. People like to make their own mistakes and you just have to let them. I've also learned that not everyone is on the same path. Especially moms.. you will have to listen to moms who think they know everything and try to make you feel like boot if you don't do certain things a certain way.. Its very much like this commercial:

There's always going to be a kid that knows more than yours.. says more than yours.. has cuter clothes than yours.. Was breastfed till they were 6.. Potty trained at 9 months.. So just get ready for it..And realize that they are probably full of it.. and then look at your own kid, watch their face light up, and pat yourself on the back for being awesome.


9) Invest in your Family.. Its worth it. 
I've realized the funny thing about having kids.. is that my parents want to see the kids all the time.. but they also still want to see me.. Sure, they like seeing the girls MORE.. but they do still like seeing me.. I do miss doing things "just with my mom" because now that I have the girls we both want to take them with us.. But having kids changes the relationship with your parents.. but in a good way.. so still spend time with your parents. Plus, you are past the point of thinking your parents are fool, and realize that they have pretty good sense about stuff.. so now is the time to pick their brains about things you've always wanted to know. One of the other really cool things about having kids is watching your own parents LOVE your kids.. form relationships with them.. say their name for the first time.. and watch how they both light up when they see each other.

The other cool thing is that now I have my own little family to spend time with.. and I love it. I love our time with the girls, the dogs, and just us.. We can get excited about the "Seek a Boo" game.. or a silly puzzle.. Play Dough is also huge right now. But its fun to just go home, and be with my family. Every day its something new with the girls.. (Yesterday Cross was Bokking like a chicken) and I don't want to miss any of those moments. I also really love my husband and going home to him.. So I enjoy the lame-ness of my little family life.

10) Be Kind to yourself.. Respect Yourself.. 
I also add Forgiving yourself to this one.. yeah, I'm not a stay at home mom.. yeah I don't weigh 100lbs.. yeah I didn't get married till later.. Yeah, my kids eat Cheetos sometimes.. Forgive yourself. Don't Sweat the small stuff.. or.. Don't sweat the Petty stuff, and don't pet the Sweaty Stuff.. lol.. Either way. Its all going to work out. So don't beat yourself up because all the other kids are saying their ABC's and your kid isn't even talking.. When I look at my girls, they are full of joy, so I know I am doing something right.. None of that is going to matter to you in 50 years, so just enjoy your time and be kind and forgiving to yourself..

Here's the full article if you want to read all the comments, etc.. 

We are headed to the farm this weekend. And we get to meet my new nephew, Luke.. Grant & Jenny's new baby. The girls will get to play with Cousin Ava & Joe.. it will be like a giant circus.. but fun.. I'm excited for the girls to have cousins their age that they can run around and have fun with. Its a special time.

Oh, and if you are looking for a delicious Valentines Idea.. Get One Smart Cookies. I know we are supposed to eat 'better'.. but these are worth the calories, and worth the exercise. Dang good cookies..and they are doing a valentine special.. and they are on groupon. Boom. You're welcome.

Emily West is Great!

So because of my background in Radio for 13 years, I have had the opportunities to meet some awesome artists.. It made me think to write this because one of them is back on TV, and I was super excited. Tons of singers, songwriters, musicians came through our conference rooms in hopes of landing a great record deal and climbing to the top of the charts.. Some that I saw were ok.. Some were terrible.. Some were awesome.. and Some were people I couldn't forget. Those were few and far between.. but I'll tell you who they were..

1) James Otto--This guy had a #1 hit with "Just got Started Loving you" (SEE HERE) and I love him. I still do. I'm hoping he gets another shot at it, because he's one of the most talented people I know. Soulful voice that is so original. He lost his record deal a few years ago, but I've kept up with him on Twitter and Facebook and I think he's working on releasing some new music soon. He is also an excellent song writer.. he co wrote "In Color" For Jamey Johnson.. I. Love. James. Otto.

2) Randy Houser--I'm so proud of this guy, as I think he has FINALLY made it! He had a pretty big hit with "Boots On" but has had even more success with his sophomore Album that includes "Good night Kiss" and "Running out of Moonlight" and now he has a new song called "Like a Cowboy".. This guy was awesome, and hilarious.. and he giggled which made me giggle.. Super thick country drawl, super cute, and a voice that at times sounded like Ronnie Dunn.. Love him. (See him HERE)

3) Zac Brown Band--Now these guys were kinda kooky when they came through.. The first thing they did was ask me where a whole foods was located (we did not have one at that point) So I tought they were a bunch of Hippies.. But when they started to play I knew they were something special.. Like 6 months later "Chicken Fried" comes out and the rest is history.. (see here).. We also saw them a few months later after they had blown up, and Zac actually cooked for us back stage at the Zoo, and made pork chops.. so he went up a notch in my book after that..

4) Easton Corbin--When this guy came in my first thought was "Man this guy sounds just like George Strait" and he's pretty much made a career on that! He's still got that twang and picks really good songs. He was super nice, and talented.. See him HERE Disregard that I'm in a cup costume.. It was Halloween..

5) Justin Moore--At the time when I first met Justin he had barely even signed his record deal. He sang a BUNCH of songs. I remember thinking "Is this accent real?"..(More here)  The other thing I remember is him is he is like 5'5 and has a song called "I can kick your ass".. I remember thinking Can you Justin? Can you? But.. I think he probably could. He's a wiry guy.. and those kind can sneak up on ya and smack you around. I knew a hockey player in Corpus that was the same way.. smallest guy on the ice, yet made more people bleed than most.. lol See him HERE:

6) Emily West--Some of you may or may not know her.. but right now she is a top 6 finalist on America's Got Talent. I was so freakin excited to see her on there.. She was awesome in person.. She does impersonations that are hilarious! (SEE HERE) Great sense of humor, and such a beautiful voice. I got her to try Calf-fries for the first time at Toby Keiths! I saw a lot of cute blondes come through the studio, but I can tell you, NONE of them  had the talent that she has. She had a record deal too, and put out some singles "Rocks in your Shoes" "My Kind of Happy" and then she did a song called "Blue Sky" with Keith Urban singing Backup.. I thought for sure she would be a huge star.. but then she lost her record deal and I never heard much about her other than what I would see on Facebook.. Then I saw her on America's Got Talent and I was so excited! I hope she wins the whole thing.. She's talented enough to do it, and such a great person. At the least, I hope she gets a record deal out of the thing! Here she is singing "Blue Sky".. 

There were others that I loved too.. Lance Miller is amazing, and I still talk to that guy. He's so great. He's actually having quite a bit of success as a song writer for Tim McGraw's record label. He co-wrote a song from Jarod Neiman that was a big hit..."I Can drink to that all night".. so I'm super proud of him.. Gloriana came through the studio, David Nail, Love & Theft, and a few others.. but those are the ones I remember thinking "Yup.. thats some good stuff"..

So Look for Emily next week on America's Got talent.. and vote for her.. She's so great, and I am excited that she got this 2nd chance! I linked her singing "Nights in White Satin".. so good.. So good.. You can watch all her previous performances from that link.. I hope she wins!

Running with the pack..

Well we have made it to 9 weeks now.. Still in survival mode with the girls, but its getting better.. We took them to get checked out last week and they have underdeveloped tummies which made their stomachs hurt, which in return made them holler and scream.. so we got them some baby Zantac, and they are partying down now.. Ok, not really, but they do appear to be feeling better.. I went back to work last Tuesday.. I missed their faces, but it was nice to be back at work.. I enjoy what I do, so It was nice to be welcomed back. I have some projects that I'm going to start on pretty soon, so I'll get that going. I love completing tasks..what can I say, I'm weird in that way.. When I was on the air, I would say "I love entertaining"..but since there is no one asking me to be funny or entertain them here, I have to just go on with completing tasks.. so thats where we are at on that deal..

The girls get their shots this week..I"m kind of a loser. I didn't even send out birth announcements, but with twins you never feel like you are caught up.. So they should be thankful I've even filled out some pages in their baby books and taken pics of them.. Speaking of pics, they are getting pretty cute. I put Crosslee in a Ralph Lauren hat the other day, and she was pretty sweet.. She still has rage moments, but she is getting better.. Sometimes you want to look at her and say "Really? Why are you so angry? You have everything you could possibly want and more, yet you spit in my face"... But like I said, she's getting better, so I guess we'll keep her! ;) This is her judgment face.. She looks like this a good portion of her life..lol..she didn't even smile at us till she was 6 weeks old!

We are going to go back to the farm this weekend, even though last time it was a disaster.. Crosslee didn't get any naps and then didn't sleep well.. so that Saturday she woke up a screamin demon, and it was NOT good for anyone.. she pretty well hollered the whole day.. but Now that we know she has to keep her schedule, have naps, and has her tummy meds, I think she will be back to her jolly self. In theory.

I was so sad to learn this weekend that Kidd Kraddick died. Since I left radio he is the only show I've really enjoyed listening too. There's just not much by way of Oklahoma radio that is that great to me, so I downloaded the I heart Radio app, and listened to his show out of Dallas. I guess he had a brain aneurysm on the golf course and died while he was on his Kids Kids golf tournament trip.. So sad.. Today the others on the show (J-si, Jenna, Kellie & Big Al) took calls to celebrate his life.. ITs weird to think how attached you get to people you don't even know..but I know some listeners were like that for me when I left the airwaves, so I'll always appreciate that.. I hope they keep the show going so I will have something to listen to each day, but I think it will be hard to go on without their ring leader, host, and namesake..

So I saw "Grown Ups 2".. Man what a turd of a movie.. It was so bad that MJ and I almost walked out.. which is really sad, b/c I love Adam Sandler and all those guys.. but it was NOT funny.. full of stupid fart jokes, a Computer generated deer that pee's on people.. Dumb characters, no plot.. etc.. It was just bad. Shame on you Sandler! I've always loved your dumb movies in the past! WE are going to try to go see Red 2 this weekend maybe, or something else.. I need me some popcorn. IN other exciting news.. Not really.. I've lost all but 3 pounds of my pregnancy weight.. which would be amazing to say, but I was losing weight BEFORE I got pregnant, so its not that amazing.. But still, lets celebrate it ok? Thanks.

 What else? Well we tried to take the girls to church again yesterday.. We did it..but Cross ended up having to sit outside the whole time b/c she just cannot be quiet.. Maybe she will be able too someday, but until then, its off to the nursery. Since they get their shots this week, they should be able to go to the nursery soon! I have missed the music at Crossings so much, I'll be excited to be back in action!! Speaking of that.. We are also going to try to pick up our therapy dog visits again soon.. Brandon or maybe Chantry or Lauren can come help out on Thursdays so Payslee and I can go visit. Miss P is ready to go!

I finally went and got my hair done! Geez.. I had to apologize to Nicole because I'm not sure I had even brushed it in 6 weeks! lol.. By the way, it looks fab..and if you need a hairdresser, call Nicole at Changes Hair Salon..She is fabulous, and in turn makes ME look fabulous!! Oh, speaking of fabulous.. I'm also going back to the dentist soon.. I know you people are saying, "How can she still need work done after a root canal, 6 crowns, & 22 fillings?".. Well I can.. Thank Goodness I have a great Dentist with Dr. Jim Cox.. I'm going to try to talk him into giving me root canals in all my teeth.. He won't, because he's a great dentist, but Man, I get so sick of my teeth being sensitive.. And I'm going to be honest, I enjoyed the root canal.. He's THAT good..Its my own fault.. I keep eating flavor ice & sunflower seeds.. Shhh.. don't tell him..  XXOO..K

Sleep? I'll sleep when I'm dead... Not really.. I'm tired.

Well here we are.. 5 weeks into the twinliness.. Girls are doing good. We are *trying* to put the on a schedule.. haha.. I know you are laughing, but seriously, everything I've read, and everyone (twin mom's) I have talked to said its important to get them on a schedule..

 

So we've been going with the "E.A.S.Y" schedule.. Easy= Eat, Activity, Sleep, then Your Time. So far,its ok.. I'm not going to lie.. its hard.. Especially when I'm by myself and they both wake up screaming at the same time, the 'activity' portion gets a little sketchy, lol.. Plus, who wants to wake a sleeping baby? Yeah, we do.. why? because we want to sleep at night.. so after about an hour and a half we wake them up for eating and activity time.. They are still waking up every 2 hours at night, but hopeful that as they put on more weight, and get older, they will go for longer stretches. Radio prepared me for little sleep, but this is a whole new level of 'little'..

Each night Jordan & I have a designated baby.. Crosslee is usually my baby.. she wakes up every 2 hours like clockwork.. But, she's pretty good about going back to bed.. but by the time I get up with her, feed her, put her back to bed, & Pump, its an hour.. so I'm up and hour..sleep 2, then get up again.. I'm hopeful this will get better. If not, I'll learn to love Espresso I suppose. Everyone keeps telling us tha 6 weeks is a 'magical' time when they can sleep longer, and all that.. I'm not getting my hopes up.. I will say at this point, having ONE baby seems pretty doable..If you ever had twins, then had one you would be like "WHAT! This is amazing!"..

Last week My dad and Joni came up and kept the girls for a whole day so MJ & I could go run around.. IT. WAS. AMAZING. Lol.. We went and got Pedicures, a massage, and went to the mall to shop a bit.. We so enjoyed our day! Well I did.. MJ said the massage folks beat him too hard and he was sore.. He apparently does not enjoy the 'deep tissue' massage, lol.. The girls had a great time with Pops Kirb, and Mama J, because that night Londyn slept for 5 hours! We may have to pay them to come back and do whatever they did again.. lol.. Then they came back on Thursday morning for a few hours and we took the dog babes to their field and let them run free.. So we enjoyed that time. Thankfully we have so many people around us that are willing to help out with the girls and give us some free moments. My mom and Jordan's mom have been coming by as well and giving us 'movie' breaks.. We watched "World War Z" last week with Brad Pitt & the Zombies, and it was GREAT! Loved it.. Then Saturday we watched "The Heat" with Melissa McCarthy & Sandra Bullock..and it was HILARIOUS. Loved the creative cursing, lol.. Reminds me of me' ol' radio days..

We got all our Newborn Pics back.. and Ali J, did an amazing job.. Just look at our angels.. yes, they "LOOK" that way.. but there are times when Crosslee acts a bit devilish.. She can rage with the best of them. Londyn is more reserved, but she can get going too.. Papa Steve was apprehensive about holding them, but look how cool this picture is! Both the girls and he will cherish that little moment..

 

We are heading out West for the 4th of July. Mom wants to introduce the girls to all her friends. No fireworks, but I'm sure it will be exciting figuring out how to 'travel' with the girls, and the dogs. So pardon our drooping eyes in the picture below.. We are pretty tired..but we are hanging in there, and making it happen, and the girls are doing really good..

How the girls FINALLY got their names

 

 

So Most of you who have followed this blog know that MJ and I have had a SERIOUS problem coming up with names for the girls..  I had my list of names, he had his.. I hated his, he hated mine, and we were seriously worried that we were not going to come up with anything.. Ironically we didn't until the birth certificate lady kept on us every day and every hour on the last day to come up with something. Yes, they WILL let you leave without naming them, but then you don't have all the documents you need..


So here's what we did.. On day one we decided to call them certain names. I believe on Day 1 it was Piper & Scout.. didn't work. MJ said that baby B was too pretty to be called Scout.. I agreed.. Day 2 it was Reese and Rowan.. But that didn't stick either.. However on Day 2, I came up with Crosslee.. It came to me from our Church, Crossings.. Because that place has been such a HUGE blessing to us. I gave MJ options to see what he liked better.. Crossland, Crosslee, or Crosslynn. He liked Crosslee the best, so we started calling her that on Day 2, and it stuck..

On Day 3 still nothing for baby B.. We went back to our lists.. The lists had like 40 names on it by now, both his and mine.. We came back across London.. We already had their middle names, Crosslee Shelton (Shelton is Jordan's grandpa's name) and ___________ Lucille..We had Lucille already because she is named after my grandma Leona Sheperd. I lost her in 1999 to Pancreatic cancer,and I still miss her so much every day. She was a big important factor in my life, and I know she will always be smiling at the girls from heaven.

 We both had always thought double L's would be cute. So we decided we wanted a different spelling, and went with Londyn Lucille.. Everyone we told the name loved it, and it fit her because it is pretty, and she is pretty.. So that is how we FINALLY arrived at the names.. Man it took forever, and I was honestly thinking it wasn't going to happen for awhile..

So this next week will be a test.. A test I have not studied for, and I'm quite sure I'm not prepared for.. My mom will go home and MJ and I will be sitting here with our babies for the first time by ourselves. We are going to try and see a movie and get Mama E's before she goes back as our "Last Supper"..

Speaking of Supper.. Have  I told you how much I love our Sunday School Class?? They have been bringing us supper for the last 2 weeks so we haven't had to cook.. We are so proud to have them around us, and even more excited to bring up our girls in an amazing church with an amazing church family.. This whole journey has truly been a God thing.. so when I'm in doubt these next few weeks because I haven't gotten any sleep and I'm wondering what I have done, Im' just going to try to be Still for a moment and know that he is God..and he will get us all through this.. because seriously, I can promise you its going to take all of us.. lol..

They Have Arrived!

 

ONE day old at the hospital!

Well the girls are here! I had them at 7:40, and 7:41 on May 25th. They wheeled me in, got me prepped for the C Section, and they were seriously born like 10 minutes later. Jordan didn't even have time to vomit at the site of blood! It was THAT quick.. Dr. Goff said, "I see a cute butt" and that was Crosslee.. she was born first, 6.03lbs, and 19" long. Then right after he pulled out Londyn, 6.15lbs, and 20" long. Both big and healthy.. We thought for a second that Cross would have to be on Oxygen for a little while, but then she started whailing and was fine. They both were able to go back to the room with us immediately. No Nicu time.. So yes, you can carry twins full term! What can I say, I build big babies! MJ took some pics of them.. Londyn screamed the whole time..she has a great set of lungs!

 We came home on Tuesday.. Mom is staying with us till this weekend, and then she will go back home.. So thankful she is helping us. Otherwise, I think the girls would be sorely disappointed in us, because who ae we kidding, MJ & I have no clue. We have never had babies, and certainly not TWO at a time.

I have to be honest, the C section is pretty great.. I mean yes, I had some pain, mainly from them pressing on the surgery area to make sure everything had gone back to its regular place..but other than that, I was up and around that same day, and have felt quite excellent since coming home. I've been able to drive, able to bend, etc.. its not nearly as crippling as some people describe it.. Or maybe I just have an excellent Doctor! Well I know I do have that.. but in talking to my friend who had her baby 3 days before I had my girls, the whole process of birth is not really that pleasant for anyone, so if given the choice, I'd pick the C Section.

The girls have been doing well at home. We've had to make a few trips to the Dr which is like a circus. I mean seriously.. You just can't travel anywhere without people stopping and asking you about the girls.. Partly because I'm pushing a giant train stroller and that says "Hi look at me!" I just took Crosslee on Monday. She didn't pass her hearing test at the hospital, (had fluid in her ears) so I had to take her back to retest.. well she passed with flying colors.. But getting there.. Lawdy.. I went by myself, and I made it, so it was like a personal victory..

We also had to take Crosslee to get checked for Jaundice. We took her while Mom kept Londyn.. To get checked they have to prick their heel with a needle, and then bleed her enough to go into a vial.. NOT great. She handled it like a champ though..MJ sits and talks to her, and she liked that.. so she barely cried. You know what else was hilarious? We forgot the diaper bag.. Yup, didn't even bring one with us.. So we were hoping for No blowouts, blowups, or fits of rage.. Cross didn't let us down. She was a champ, as if she knows we are first time idiotic parents, so we appreciated that.

We had to take them both to their 'well baby' check at the pediatrican.. which they should really call "I'm going to irritated the crap out of your baby by tormenting them" check.. They put them on a cold scale without their clothes on to weigh.. (they really hate being cold in case you didn't know) and they start manipulating their arms/legs.. shine lights in their ears/eyes.. I mean its really awful. Yes, it has to be done, but man, do they hate it.. MJ and I both went to that one.. This time we had giant diaper bag and all.. We are realizing that traveling with them is not really going to be a common thing.. Its going to be a "Is there anyway we can avoid doing this" thing.. Because its just TOO much.

For those of you wondering how the dogs were going to be.. one word.. AWESOME. Payslee is like the best little nanny/helper ever.. She has adopted the girls as hers, and is constantly checking on them to make sure they are ok. She will go up to them and smell one, then go and smell the other.. If they cry, or make a sound, she runs over and looks at them, then looks at us like "Um, do something".. lol. She has been great. Sawyer likes them too, but I think he will like them a lot more when they are able to interact with him. They are both super sweet, and so gentle anytime they get around them..I'm so thankful for them..

So thats my life for now.. We don't sleep much, but we are trying to power through! More to come on this little adventure!

Well, its a little late to go back now..

Does anyone else find it odd that it requires more proof and documentation to adopt a dog from an animal shelter than it does to have a baby? I mean you have to be more qualified to adopt a homeless dog than to have a hospital just hand over a baby to you.. In my case, they are handing me TWO..You would think they would have me take home one on a 'trial run' to see how I do, and If I pass, then they send me home with the second one! Anyway.. you can see I'm not feeling 'qualified' at the moment.. lol..

The Above passage is taken from my "Jesus Calling" book by Sarah Young. This book is so amazing. It gives you what you need on a daily basis. I decided to look ahead and see what the book said for the day the girls would be born..and Man, it was so dead on. Isn't it funny how God always knows just what you need? So cool.

So here we are. Tomorrow is the big day. We are both scared.. Right now mainly scared that I'm going to do okay, and that they are going to do ok when they get here.. Mainly fear of the unknown. But I know that God will take care of me, and giving MJ and I twin girls was obviously HIS idea, so he's got this. "Be still and know that I am God".. Its going to be hard, and always has been hard for me to be still. I haven't been still all my life.. Heck I'm about to POP and its STILL hard for me to be Still! But I'm going to try, because I know these babies have a lot of lessons to teach me. Did you know that because I am having fraternal, spontaneous, twins, we are 12% more likely to have them again. So guess what? We aren't having any more! Can you imagine.. I get pregnant again, and its twins AGAIN.. and its GIRLS! MJ would die..

I think we have everything ready... except for names. I did find out today we have 30 days. So we CAN leave the hospital without names. I hope we don't get to that point, but thankfully IF WE DO, my brother Grant, the Lawyer, can help us change them if we do leave with them being named "A" and "B"..

With all the tornado stuff that happened this week, its just so sad.. I've been praying for all those families, and those who lost all their loved ones and homes. So cool though to see Oklahomans join forces and help one another. Because of all this, MJ and I will probably be getting a storm shelter.. The weather in OK lately seems to be getting worse each year. I can count on one hand how many times we needed to go to the cellar, or even saw Hail when I was growing up in Canute.. Now we have golf ball hail every year.. and it gets more frequent each year.. Obviously weather is getting more dangerous, so we need to have a storm shelter.. I think we will get the kind that goes in the back yard, because those garage ones make me claustrophobic.

I almost got into a fight the other day at my favorite place.. Cafe 7.. A woman actually tried to steal a table from me.. Seriously? She acted like it was HER table even though she sat down way after me, and when I went to push it together (for my guests I was expecting) she said "You're not trying to take my table are you?".. I didn't want to have to play the "Are you seeing me giant pregnant and miserable card" but I was going to.. I said "Well I was holding this table because I obviously don't fit in a booth anymore".. So she kinda rethinks her rude ness and asks her friend to find another table.. I tell you, you should always be nice to pregnant people.. You never know when they are carrying giant twin girls and their sad bodies are about to give up. I've told people that I have actually felt BETTER these last 2 weeks.. and I think its because my body has just given up. Lol.. I'd give up too if I was it..


M & I appreciate all the sweet comments, prayers, and thoughts from you guys. We are very blessed to have so many cool people around us.. I go in at 7am on Saturday, surgery is at 9.. Should be updating and posting on Facebook for those who want to know how its going. We are all very excited, and scared, but know this will be a life changing experience that will bless us, and enrich our lives. I cannot tell you how excited we are to have our church home and family around us. We truly go to the best church ever. The things they have done for the tornado victims is just mind blowing, and the fact they are making time to come pray with us on Saturday before I go in is just awesome. I love all my Crossings family, and we are so excited to raise our girls there!! What blessings are in store for us! Thank you all for coming along on the journey! I'll report back soon!

HI Cry Baby..

I made it to full term (for twins) 36 Weeks!! So with me having ONE week left of being pregnant.. I can tell you that I've been pretty emotional all day.. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of 'pregnancy hormones' get ready.. it sucks.. and its ridiculous. This is foreign to me, because I'm NOT one of 'those' people.. In fact, I've truly hated the pregnancy Hormones because I'm not a high feeler, so when I would hear women go on and on about pregnancy Glow (which twin moms don't seem to have by the way, lol) the creation of life, the joys of kicks and all that fluff, I did NOT understand it.
I often have thought that MJ would have loved me to be "more feeling".. However, I am pretty sure that he will now tell you that he is so ready for me to be back to my non-feeling self.. lol..Being that at any given time he can walk in and I will be crying so hard and laughing at the same time that I'm sure I must seem like a crazy person.

Things just seem to make me emotional.. Here's some examples of things that have led me into sobbing hysterically, then laughing because  know how ridiculous I am.. I really hate it..

1) Faith Hill's "A Baby Changes Everything"
2) Christian The Lion I probably would have cried on this one too.. there is something about animals and elderly people that just lead me to sob.
3) 4 Year old Singing on Ellen.. This one made me cry because I can totally see this being one of my daughters.. Which made me happy, but also scared, so I started to cry..
4) Budweiser Horse-- In fairness, I probably would have cried about this before.. Animal commercials just kill me..
5) A walrus getting a birthday cake.. (geez, I dont even have an excuse for this one)

So as you can see, some of these things are just ridiculous.. I think I'm mostly scared of the unknown. I've never done ANYTHING without knowing I was going to excel at it.. Thats just the way I am.. I don't play sports that I can't win at.. I don't take classes I can't make good grades in.. I don't do radio unless its really good radio.. Well I know nothing about parenting..other that to dogs.. And while I do have amazing, smart, well behaved dogs.. I have to think that babies will be a little different.. lol.. People keep telling me that I'm going to be amazing at it.. And I do appreciate that.. But how do THEY know that? I don't.. I know that I don't do anything half-ass, so I will be doing it to the best of my ability, thats for sure! So I guess thats the best I can hope for..

The Good news is I married a man who WILL without a doubt be amazing.. Thank the Lord for that. MJ is sweet.. and he loves taking care of people. Both excellent parenting qualities. He will be so patient and caring with the girls (Unless they smash cheetos in his car, and then its questionable) and I know he will like teaching them things. He is a very high feeler, so he operates on how people feel and react.. He likes everyone to be happy all the time.. I am more intuitive and I have just been reading a million books hoping the knowledge seaps into my brain and becomes helpful.. I don't care what other people think..
Hopefully together that will be a magical parental combo!

Remember a few weeks ago when I told you the story about me planting flowers in the front yard like a tool and my belly was showing because I couldn't pull my shirt down with my muddy hands? Well.. I had hoped that no one really SAW me that day.. Apparently I was wrong.. 3 of our neighbors have now come up to Jordan and said "Is your wife pregnant?".. Lol.. Yeah, obviously they saw me out in the yard on all 4's trying to get up.. So I believe the neighborhood is aware.. Good thing is our neighborhood is awesome and they have already offered to help, and have even given us swings and such, so I guess my belly showing spectacle was not all bad.

I've also decided I should have ordered a shirt that said "Its twins, so don't judge me".. or "2 weeks left".. People keep looking at me like I should not be walking around in the world.. Its like they fear a baby is about to drop out of me at any time..There are also many 'pity' looks.. I've heard "Wow"..a LOT lately..

For our last weekend of freedom MJ and I have just enjoyed some time at the house, and then we went to the movies. I saw "Mud" with Matthew Mcoughnahay (however you spell that) and it was really good.. Kind of a coming of age movie. MJ watched the new Star Trek movie.. he said it was good too.. Then we went to eat at our new favorite place in the world.. Mama E's.. Have you been here yet? Its soul food place, and mm mm it makes us so happy!! Yesterday we had catfish with mac and cheese, collard greens, cornbread, homemade potato salad, and of course.. Cool aid.. Its so good. It was featured on "Diners, drive-ins, and Dives".. and we love it. Great people too. Speaking of food.. does anyone else find humor in the Braums commercal where the guy says "Wacka Mole-EE".. because it makes me laugh.

So.. by this time next week.. Hopefully the girls, MJ and I will be happily settled in our little recovery room.. Hopefully we will be enjoying their sweet, healthy faces, and hopefully we will be able to tell them apart so we don't look like fools..We would appreciate your prayers. I know this has been in God's hands the whole time, so I don't worry too much about that.

Stll no names peeps.. I'm starting to wonder if its going to happen.. We are going to try not to leave the hospital without them having names.. but they may have "A" and "B" on their birth certificates.. Isn't it funny how everyone has an opinion on what you should name your kids? We take this very seriously and we just want them to know that we didn't just name them Hooley Booley because we want their names to be special and unique just for them.. We already know they are special, so we want them to have a special name that goes with them..

 

"My whole life has turned around

I was lost but now I'm found

A baby changes everything,

yeah A baby changes everything"

 

Getting Closer...and Closer...

 

Well here we are.. 35 weeks.. wowza. Everyone keeps looking at me with Pity face.. then they realize they are looking at me with Pity and quickly turn the pity face into a smile.. I don't mind either one, it makes me laugh actually.. I probably look like like I need Pity.. I actually feel ok.. I don't feel great, but I think considering, I'm doing ok. My main issue is my back, and just feeling too heavy to get around or walk for very long..I mean geesh, these are big babies!

The good news is that I can still get in and out of the bathtub..I. Love. BATHS. The end.. I mean if I could not take a bath it would be so much worse.. My twin friend told me that I probably wouldn't be able to get out of there without rolling onto all 4's and hoist myself.. Thankfully this is NOT the case so far.. Although I will admit that the bathtub makes a giant sucking sound when I do get out.. I have been putting Epsom salts with Lavender in my baths and its my favorite time.. I have a feeling I will be missing it soon.. lol..

MJ & I have setup an email for the girls.. We have been emailing them throughout the pregnancy about what they are doing, and how I am doing.. I think it will be cool to look back on their lives and read this to them. We will make a scrapbook out of it eventually. I realized on Sunday that this will be my last "sane" Mothers Day.. Its safe to say that MJ & I are not sure if we are more scared of them staying in the womb, or actually coming out!

I'm still feeling very blessed though.. I don't have high blood pressure, and hopefully I won't get it.. Dr. Goff has taken great care of me.. I don't have acid reflux, heartburn, and I don't have much swelling.. A lot of the other pregnant people I know (though they are only having ONE mind you) are already having so many issues that are not cool.. I really think (even though this is a pain) taking my 25 vitamins a day has helped me a TON..but all of that starts with great Doctors, which I have had from the get-go.. Very happy about that.. I am all about knowledge.. Reading as much as you can and being prepared.. so that is what I've been doing.. I hate being unprepared.. I know I will be with a lot of things, but at least I have read up on the subjects!

I think this weekend MJ and I will try to have a nice date together.. being that a week from Saturday we will be in the hospital having babies! Does this seems insane to anyone else but me! Wowza..

Wow.. You look really Pregnant".. Yeah, well thats what happens

Well hello everyone.. I'm now 34 weeks (as of tomorrow) which means I've made it to the home stretch.. They say babies born within this time are usually healthy and good to go, so what a blessing! Babies are BIG.. Especially Baby B.. at this time a normal singleton baby should weigh about 4 3/4 pounds.. My babes are 4.15, and 5.8 pounds! Which is great.. means their lungs, brains, and hearts are all bigger, and they will do much better when they come out..

We had another ultrasound on Monday.. Of course Baby A is facing my back and refuses to turn around.. We saw Baby B but her eyes were open, and she looked kinda odd, but we did see her perfectly formed ears! The Ultrasound tech kept poking on her with the wand, and she did NOT like that.. she always pokes back. She's feisty.. A doesn't like it when I sit down wit my legs up, or when I wear a pregnancy belt.. she will constantly kick it.. She has had the hiccups lately which results on a constant thump.. thump.. thump.. on my lower belly.

 I go see Dr. Goff tomorrow and we will be scheduling my C Section then.. Will probably be around May 27th. For those of you wondering, hell yes I'm having a C section.. why women would want to have anything else, I do not know.. Especially with twins.. Push two giant babies out? No thank you..thats just silly to me. Plus its not as healthy for the babies.. chances are you could push one out, and then the other one could be in distress and they would have to do a C section anyway.. So whats the point? With a C section I don't mess up my hair, makeup, etc.. and their heads look great with no stress to their little baby bodies.. Sounds like the best solution to me!

These women that are insane about giving birth naturally blow my mind.. I mean they honestly feel CHEATED by not getting to push watermelons out of peanut size openings.. What the hell? Cheated is losing your job when you did everything to keep it.. Cheated is having your paycheck furloughed because the government can't get their crap together.. Having a C section is NOT being cheated.. Think about the health of your babies, and yourself.. its insane. Yet I keep running into more and more of them that tell me how "cheated' I'm going to feel for having a C-section.. Yeah yeah.. You have fun with that.. I'll be just fine.

In other news this weather is dumb. I'm sick of it.. Brandon came over and helped MJ clean up the flower beds, and we plant all this lovely stuff and now we are going to have temps in the 20's? Get it together Winter.. its not your time.. Move on. I decided it would be cool to plan some of the flowers myself.. IT was sexy I tell you.. I'm out in the yard with garden gloves on, and on my hands and knees planting them.. except, Oopsie, I can't get back up.. awesome. So I roll over on all four's and hoist myself, only to find that my tank top has now ridden up leaving my giant twin belly exposed to the world and my neighbors who are probably looking out their windows and pointing and laughing wondering what the hell is wrong with me to begin with.. Well I can't pull my tank top down because my hands have mud all over them from the flower bed. Sweet.. So I try to hurry and wash them off, pull down my shirt, and put away the shovel.. Whoever told you pregnancy is bliss has obviously not tried to plant flowers at 33 weeks pregnant.. Welcome to my life. I paid dearly for it the next day with awful back pain, and my crotch dying. so Lesson learned on that deal. 

Baby A is also laying on some nerve or something because after sitting awhile my leg just dies.. It doesn't go to sleep it just won't move anymore.. It happened the other day in a restaurant. When we got up to leave, my leg wouldn't work and I almost fell down trying to get out of the chair.. Then I began limping around like a tool until it started to work again.. It bizarre.. An adventure everyday I tell ya! I also may or may not have ridden the electronic hover round at Homeland the other day.. and I also may have loved it.. Don't judge me.

You know what the other cool thing is? People at work saying the most ridiculous things to me.. Keep in mind, I'm in IT, so I work with a bunch of men.. This is what I have heard so far this week "OMG. How are you still able to walk" "OMG you look SOO PREGNANT" "WOW, your Belly is really protruding!" "You look like you could pop at any second" "I kinda want to touch your belly, but its scary" "Are you due like Now?"... Yes.. welcome to the world of considerate men.. lol.. Thankfully this is all humorous to me. I'm aware of how pregnant I look.. I walk around with it everyday and sigh a little when I walk past a mirror.. However, we are nearing the finish line, so I'm very blessed and happy to keep carrying them until they are cooked all the way through. God is good!!

K

Its official.. its a take-over..

Jenn, Me, and Cammy, two of my oldest friends!

Well.. Here we are.. 31 weeks.. All I can say is Wow.. Each week when I think my body cannot take anymore, it does. I'm pretty proud of it.. but I can honestly say I am not one of those women that is ever going to say "Man, I just loved being pregnant.. it was so blissful".. its not. Maybe it is if you are only having One, but I can tell you that these girls pretty well just do what they want.. They tap dance on my bladder, they dance around on my lungs, they punch me in the abdomen.. I mean, they have made my body a dance palace.. I'm so happy, and thankful they are healthy and happy, and I'm going to carry them for as long as I possibly can.. but don't look for a lovely 'glow' coming off my face, or me looking very pleasant as I try to hoist myself in and out of my car.. Oh, and speaking of hoisting.. I've installed a belt on my headboard so that I can use it as a pulley system to get out of bad.. Its just sad I tell ya.. lol..

We had the baby shower in Elk City with Mom's friends.. It was very cute and fun, and the girls got some really cute stuff! I also enjoyed the delicious punch and cake.. Mom and I were so thankful for all the amazing things! I mean look at this basket full of goodies!! Full of awesome stuff, and another basket full of hand-sewn blankets, burp rags, and more! It was just Great!

They also got really cute 'ruffle butt's'.. all such cute stuff.. And of course plenty of bows, and glitter outfits.. My high school Coach, Mike Maddox, and his wife Sandy got them their first pair of Nike's! They are so cute! We are beyond excited about putting them in this stuff!

I went back to the Dr. on Friday.. No big changes with me.. Cervix has shortened more, but I think part of that is because there is a baby kicking it.. I mean, doesn't that make sense? You can actually SEE a foot when they show the ultrasound of my Cervix! They still think I could carry them to 37 weeks, so hopefully that will happen. Baby B took some great pics.. You can see her there showing off how limber she is by putting her foot on her forehead.. lol.. Baby A would not pose again.. She sits very low, and Baby B is very high, so we are able to see baby B easier.. She is pretty cute I must admit. I love her pouty lips, and cute nose! Right now is the time in which they are putting on fat, and her cheeks already look chubbish, which I am so excited about! Those Ultrasounds are amazing.. You can actually SEE and count 5 toes!

I can honestly say, I love all my doctors, and they are taking very good care of me.. At this point the babies are BIG. Above average.. I think at this point, most singleton babies weigh around 3lbs.. My babies are well over 4.. In fact, baby B is 4.9! They will continue to put on 1/2 lb of weight over the next few weeks.. which yes, means I could be looking at 6-7lb babies by the time I deliver! HOLY CRAP.. I feel like I can barely walk now.. I can't even imagine what it would be like walking around with 12lbs of baby! I am super glad they are bigger though, even though it kills my body, because I know they are growing and jolly in there, and for every day I keep them inside, its 4 days they won't have to be in the NICU..

I feel sad for MJ these days.. I seriously can do VERY little at this point.. If I stand, or sit too long, something on my body starts hurting.. this means I can't walk the dog babes, I can't vacuum,  I can't bend over really.. so that entails a lot of stuff.. He's been a trooper taking care of me, the house, the skin babes, and the dog babes.. As you can see, they like to lay on him frequently and get in his face.. We all appreciate him very much! I think this pregnancy is just about as hard as him as it is on me.. But not all the way, because he is not getting kicked in the crotch all day, so there's that.. There's a reason Men don't have babies..

I have had plenty of time for TV.. so thats been fun.. Still supporting my Trace Adkins on Celebrity Apprentice, and Blake Shelton on the Voice.. Those two make for good TV! We've also enjoyed some new shows.. Bates Motel is creepy and good, and MJ has started watching "The Following".. Lots of pretty good TV on right now..

I do sometimes feel bad about bringing up two little girls in this world.. with the Bombs that happened in Boston yesterday, and the school shootings a few months ago, Its just sad. The acts are heartbreaking, but even more heartbreaking is the people who do them.. I mean where does this hatred and sick desire to hurt people come from?  Its just sad. What drives people to get to that point? I suppose they are just lost.. I don't know.. but I can only hope and pray each night that eventually they will be able to find Peace with God and figure it out. Until then, it will be sad to watch. Thoughts and Prayers go out to the families in Boston.